Tesla Stock Plunges After Tariff Chaos! Is Elon Musk Losing His Mind?

A Day of Reckoning?

Well damn. Looks like the world's gone mad or perhaps just madder than usual. One day Tesla's soaring higher than a griffon on a thermal updraft the next it's plummeting faster than a drowners' victim. Shares took a nasty 7.3% hit ending at $252.40. Down 38% for the year? Even a Witcher's senses are ringing at that one. It seems even fancy electric contraptions aren't immune to the vagaries of the market. Reminds me of a certain Baron he made a killing and lost it all on Gwent!

Trump's Trade Tantrums

Seems this whole mess started with some royal decree from President Trump – pausing tariffs here increasing them there. The market's been whipsawing like a barghest in a blizzard. Tesla though has been especially… lively. Up or down 5% on nineteen separate occasions? Someone needs to feed that stock a calming potion. I've got a few recipes that could help though they're usually meant for less... electronic beasts.

Tariff Terrors

Then the White House clarified things or rather muddied them further. China's tariff rate is now at 145%. One hundred and forty five! Beijing retaliated of course slapping an 84% tariff on U.S. goods. And the EU got in on the act too. So now everyones paying everyone! It's like a game of Gwent with every player cheating.

The Analyst Oracle

Analysts from UBS Goldman Sachs and Mizuho are all sharpening their knives lowering their price targets for Tesla. Margin impacts from Trump's auto tariffs they say. In simpler terms? More expense for Tesla less profit. 'We expect Tesla shares to be volatile but downward sloping,' they say. Sounds like someone's been talking to a Dopplerganger to find that out. I'd trust Roach's judgement before those fools' crystal balls! I've met more insightful ghouls.

Musk's Miffed

Ah Elon Musk the man who wants to colonize Mars. One of Trump's top advisors but he has some serious words for Trump's top trade advisor Peter Navarro calling him a "moron" and "dumber than a sack of bricks" in social media posts. He clearly doesn't understand 'medallion is humming place of power gotta be'. The man is as erratic as a Leshen in mating season. Sales are down in Europe competition's heating up and costs are soaring. Poor Tesla. 'Wind's howling' indeed.

Short Seller's Delight?

This whole debacle must bring some joy for the short sellers the vultures of the stock market are making out like bandits. Tesla short interest stands around 80.5 million shares with a 2.8% float according to S3 Partners. They lost money on the rally but its back up! If it falls further they'll buy a round of drinks. I wonder if they serve White Gull.