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Showing 71 to 80 of 134 news articles

Montgomery Burns weighs in on Amazon's recent layoffs, finding the silver lining in corporate streamlining and the potential for cheaper robotaxis. image

Excellent! Smithers, Release the Hounds... Of Unemployment! Amazon Trims the Fat!

Wed 14 May, 2025 22:28
2 minutes to read

Warner Bros. Discovery, in a move that can only be described as 'excellent,' is restoring the HBO Max name after a brief, regrettable dalliance with 'Max,' signaling a return to quality over quantity... something the masses clearly can't appreciate. image

Excellent! HBO Max Reverts to HBO Max: A Victory for Quality, Not the Common Man!

Wed 14 May, 2025 15:33
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns expands his empire into the HVAC industry by acquiring FläktGroup, aiming to dominate the heating and cooling market while his rivals choke on his dust. image

Excellent! Burns Grabs German HVAC Firm for Peanuts! A Cooling Investment Indeed!

Wed 14 May, 2025 03:16
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reacts to Trump's executive order to link U.S. drug prices to those of other developed countries, finding humor and potential profit in the chaos. image

Excellent! Trump's Plan to Fleece Foreigners for Lower Drug Prices! Hee Hee Hee!

Mon 12 May, 2025 19:54
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reports on the latest trade talks between the U.S. and China, offering his unique (and often misguided) insights on tariffs, fentanyl, and global markets. image

Excellent! Burns Thwarts Chinese Trade Shenanigans (For Now)

Mon 12 May, 2025 11:55
2 minutes to read

A rare 1999 platinum Rolex Daytona, shrouded in mystery and dripping with diamonds, is set to fetch millions at auction, proving that time truly is money... especially mine. image

Excellent! Burns's Guide to Extravagance: A Rolex Fit for a Billionaire (Or Me!)

Sat 10 May, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Small business owners are increasingly pessimistic about the economy due to proposed tariffs and the potential for a recession, with many disapproving of President Trump's handling of the situation. image

Excellent...NOT! Small Businesses Suffer Under Trump Tariffs, A Recession Looms!

Fri 09 May, 2025 14:28
2 minutes to read

Burns analyses China's export surge amid US trade tensions, finding potential profits and gloating over America's woes. image

Excellent! China's Exports Surge as America Crumbles (Good!)

Fri 09 May, 2025 04:22
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns reacts to Andrew Bailey's warning of U.K. economic uncertainty, seeing opportunity amidst the chaos. image

Bah! Economic Uncertainty? Excellent News For This Plutocrat!

Thu 08 May, 2025 15:30
3 minutes to read

Mr. Burns analyzes the EU's plan to ditch Russian energy, foreseeing profit and potential for world domination, while lamenting the whininess of Eastern European nations. image

Excellent! EU's Energy Independence From Russia Will Line My Pockets

Thu 08 May, 2025 06:05
2 minutes to read