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Showing 71 to 80 of 89 news articles

The British oil giant BP is facing takeover speculation amidst strategic shifts and investor pressures, with Shell, ExxonMobil, and Chevron potentially interested, according to energy analysts. image

Is BP About to Say Excellent to a Takeover From Shell Exxon or Chevron?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 05:19
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns weighs in on Trump's tariff tweaks and their impact on oil prices, pondering whether this is good for Springfield and his vast wealth. image

Crude Awakening! Trump Saves My Bottom Line (and Maybe Yours?)

Mon 14 April, 2025 12:25
3 minutes to read

China scoffs at meager U.S. tariff exemptions, demanding complete removal of reciprocal tariffs, while U.S. Trade Representative confirms no immediate plans for Trump-Xi talks. A fiddlesticks of affairs! image

Bah Humbug! China Demands I Abolish MY Tariffs?!

Sun 13 April, 2025 16:24
2 minutes to read

A curmudgeonly old billionaire laments the market's instability due to presidential pronouncements and ponders if streaming services will affect his bottom line. Excellent. image

Bah Humbug! Will Trump's Tweets and Netflix Binge Ruin My Portfolio?!

Fri 11 April, 2025 22:56
3 minutes to read

Consumer sentiment takes a nosedive, inflation worries soar, and yours truly, C. Montgomery Burns, weighs in with the biting wit and financial acumen you've come to expect. image

Are We All Doomed Smithers?! Consumer Sentiment Plummets Like My Approval Ratings!

Fri 11 April, 2025 14:22
2 minutes to read

A tragic helicopter crash in the Hudson River claims six lives, including a family from Spain, prompting investigations and memories of past aviation accidents in Manhattan. Excellent! image

Dastardly Disaster or Divine Dividend Helicopter Horror in Hudson!

Thu 10 April, 2025 22:22
2 minutes to read

Amazon CEO Andy Jassy claims that AI costs will plummet, like my stock prices after a pesky shareholder meeting. Humbug! image

Bah! Amazon's AI Promises Cheaper! Is This Another One of Bezos's Tricks?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 11:29
2 minutes to read

A temporary pause in tariff rates on pharmaceuticals provides a fleeting reprieve for drugmakers, but the long-term implications of potential tariffs loom large, threatening to disrupt supply chains and raise drug costs for patients. Excellent. image

Tariffs Tantrums and Tinctures! Will Trump's Trade Wars Poison Your Medicine Cabinet?

Wed 09 April, 2025 19:12
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns reports on Delta Air Lines' decision to halt expansion due to 'disappointing' bookings and concerns over Trump's trade policies, proving even the skies aren't safe from government meddling. image

Are Trump's Policies Grounding Your Vacation Plans!?

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:20
2 minutes to read

President Trump signs executive orders to boost domestic coal production to meet the electricity demands of artificial intelligence, sparking a debate about emissions and market viability. image

Coal is King Again! Trump's Bold Plan to Power AI With the Black Rock!

Tue 08 April, 2025 21:07
3 minutes to read