Excellent! China's Exports Surge as America Crumbles (Good!)

A Most Excellent Turn of Events

Smithers fetch my abacus! It appears those Chinese chappies are doing rather well for themselves. Their exports have surged you see while America... well let's just say they're not exactly 'winning' at the moment. Burns is delighted! I say! Those tariffs are starting to bite those Yanks where the sun doesn't shine (which let's be honest is most places on those pale faced fellows). This news pleases me to no end.

Southeast Asia: My New Favorite Place (After My Office)

It seems those Southeast Asians are buying everything China can ship their way. A surge of 20.8%! Perhaps I should invest in... what was it? Ah yes noodles! Or maybe cheap plastic trinkets. Excellent! Burns may consider relocating the Nuclear plant there those chaps would do anything I say!

America: A Nation of Wimps

Over 21% drop in exports to the US? Good riddance! Those Americans never appreciated my… generosity. Ungrateful wretches! This presents Burns with an opportunity. While they squabble over tariffs I'll be quietly buying up their failing businesses for a pittance. The fools! It's all going according to plan Smithers. All going according to plan.

The Art of Transshipment: A Skill Worth Learning

Transshipment you say? Clever very clever. Using third countries to sneak around tariffs. I approve! It's the sort of cunning I admire nay *expect* from my global competitors. Although I would never stoop so low of course. I'm far too… ethical. Now Smithers remind me do we have any shell corporations registered in... oh say Lichtenstein?

Deflation: The Silent Killer (Of Profits)

Deflation you say? A dangerous game! If the Chinese aren't careful they'll find themselves in a deflationary spiral. And nobody wants that except of course for opportunistic vultures like… well you get the picture. Smithers remind me to check the status of my vulture fund excellent!

Smithers Prepare the Victory Cigar!

This news fills me with such glee! America faltering China thriving (somewhat) and Burns as always positioned to profit handsomely. Smithers prepare the celebratory cigars and brandy. And perhaps a little something for myself! After all a good gloat is wasted without proper lubrication. Smithers get on it right now!