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Showing 51 to 60 of 89 news articles

Mr. Burns dissects Super Micro's recent financial woes, blaming everything on sluggish employees and those meddling analysts. image

Excellent! Super Micro's Profits Plummet Like Smithers' Popularity!

Tue 29 April, 2025 21:09
2 minutes to read

HSBC's Q1 results exceed expectations, prompting a hefty share buyback and leaving this old miser feeling rather...content. image

Excellent! HSBC's Bonanza: A Buyback Fit for a Billionaire!

Tue 29 April, 2025 05:43
2 minutes to read

A Senate report alleges Elon Musk used his influence with the Trump administration to potentially avoid over $2 billion in liabilities. Smithers, release the hounds... on these accusations! image

Excellent! Musk's Masterful Maneuver: Avoiding Billions, Benefiting Bigly!

Mon 28 April, 2025 17:39
2 minutes to read

A look at how dividend stocks and ETFs are becoming increasingly attractive to investors seeking stability amidst market volatility, with insights from the perspective of a seasoned capitalist. image

Excellent! Dividend Stocks Offer Respite from Market Mayhem, Says Montgomery Burns!

Sun 27 April, 2025 18:25
2 minutes to read

World leaders and faithful bid farewell to Pope Francis, a simple man with simple tastes. A good man, who is gone too soon. Good riddance! image

Excellent! Pope Francis's Funeral Draws Massive Crowds, Even More Massive Than My Annual Birthday Bash!

Sat 26 April, 2025 10:30
3 minutes to read

Disgraced ex-congressman George Santos awaits sentencing for fraud, theft, and general tomfoolery, leaving Mr. Burns to ponder the state of modern politics. image

Release the Hounds! Santos Faces the Music for His Fiscal Follies

Fri 25 April, 2025 14:07
2 minutes to read

Burns analyses Alphabet's Q1 triumph, musing on AI, cloud dominance, and those pesky 'Other Bets'. image

Excellent! Alphabet's Profits Soar, Smithers, Ready the Corporate Jet!

Thu 24 April, 2025 21:44
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns dissects the recent surge in durable goods orders ahead of potential tariffs, offering his unique perspective on the economy, labor, and the future of Springfield. image

Excellent! Durable Goods Soar as Trump's Tariffs Loom, Smithers!

Thu 24 April, 2025 13:05
2 minutes to read

U.S. Congressional committee launches investigation into Chinese telecom giants over potential data theft and cybersecurity risks, threatening subpoenas if they don't cooperate. image

Bah! Chinese Telecoms Think They Can Steal Our Data!?

Thu 24 April, 2025 03:34
2 minutes to read

Elon Musk attempts to rally investors after a dismal earnings report, touting robotaxis and humanoid robots while Springfield's own Mr. Burns scoffs at the electric car folly. image

Bah Humbug Tesla Stock Soars Despite Disastrous Earnings! What's Musk Up To?!

Wed 23 April, 2025 16:15
3 minutes to read