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Showing 41 to 50 of 89 news articles

A disgruntled look at Berkshire Hathaway's stumble, Trump's tariff tantrum, and other market movements that dare to challenge my financial supremacy. image

Bah Humbug! Buffett's Blunder and Streaming Screams!

Mon 05 May, 2025 12:25
2 minutes to read

Warren Buffett, that meddling do-gooder, is finally stepping down from Berkshire Hathaway, leaving a gaping void for someone with real vision (and a larger pile of money) to fill. Plus, his usual drivel about tariffs and deficits. image

Excellent! Buffett Quits! Berkshire Hathaway Up For Grabs!

Sat 03 May, 2025 20:09
3 minutes to read

Mr. Burns analyzes how global trade disruptions are impacting tech giants and consumer confidence, while scheming to exploit the chaos for personal gain. image

Excellent! Trade Wars and Tech Woes: Smithers, We're Still Rich, Right?

Fri 02 May, 2025 16:45
3 minutes to read

A look at how potential changes to the SALT deduction could disproportionately favor high-income individuals like yours truly. image

Excellent! Trump's Tax Tweaks Could Fatten My Wallet, Er, Benefit the Economy!

Fri 02 May, 2025 11:32
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns, dispensing wisdom on healthcare stocks, tariffs, and why travel is for the weak. image

Excellent! Burns's Guide to Clobbering the Market (and Maybe a Few Unions While We're At It)

Thu 01 May, 2025 20:43
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns analyzes the corporate intrigue at Kohl's, where a CEO has been ousted for alleged conflicts of interest, amidst falling sales and strategic blunders. A perfectly cromulent disaster, if I do say so myself. image

Excellent! Kohl's CEO Bites the Dust! A Burns' Eye View

Thu 01 May, 2025 15:15
2 minutes to read

Mr. Burns weighs in on the recent Wall Street Journal report of Tesla's CEO search and Robyn Denholm's swift denial. Is it time to send Smithers to poach Elon, or should we let him stew in his own electric juice? image

Release the Hounds! Tesla CEO Saga: A Burnsian Perspective on Musk's Reign

Thu 01 May, 2025 08:54
2 minutes to read

Meta reports unexpectedly high first-quarter revenue, leaving this tycoon feeling, well, not completely displeased. A deeper dive reveals some potential headwinds, but nothing a good ol' fashioned hostile takeover can't fix. image

Excellent! Meta's Profits Surge, Just As I Predicted (Probably)

Wed 30 April, 2025 22:16
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns analyzes Zoom's stock recovery, AI integration, and undervalued status, seeing it as a prime chance for profit. Release the hounds... on these shares! image

Excellent! Zoom Stock: A Golden Opportunity for Capitalistic Exploitation, Smithers!

Wed 30 April, 2025 15:39
2 minutes to read

UK's stringent regulations and funding woes may drive fintech and crypto innovation elsewhere, leaving me, Mr. Burns, in a state of utter disappointment and threatening my plans for world domination, excellent! image

Bah Humbug! Britain's Crypto Dreams: A Crushing Blow to Progress, Excellent!

Wed 30 April, 2025 05:00
3 minutes to read