Excellent! Waymo Cars Go Up in Smoke! A Victory for the Common Man!

Release the Hounds... I Mean Robotaxis!

Bah! So these… *Waymo* contraptions these infernal machines daring to traverse *my* roads met a rather… *toasty* end did they? Five of them mind you! Vandalized in the heart of Los Angeles. Honestly it's the best news I've heard all week! Smithers fetch me my brandy... the *good* stuff. And make sure it's not that swill Burns Slant Drilling brought me last time. Oh and did you see them? Engulfed in flames! Excellent!

Immigration Woes Fuel the Flames

Apparently these… *protests* are due to this Trump fellow's… *immigration* policies. Something about raids and such. Honestly who can keep up with all the riff raff these days? Still a burning robotaxi is a burning robotaxi. And it gives me a certain… *satisfaction*. Perhaps I should send a bouquet to these… *protesters*. A bouquet of… exploding cigars! No no that's too obvious.

LAPD More Like LAP Do Nothing!

The Los Angeles Police Department those bumbling buffoons issued some sort of… *statement* about toxic gases. Hydrogen fluoride no less! As if *I* haven't dealt with worse. Why at my power plant we release such gasses daily! It keeps the… *wildlife* at bay. Besides who are they to talk about safety? I bet they were too busy eating donuts to do anything those spineless jellyfish!

Gavin Newsom's Legal Tantrum

And now this Newsom fellow the Governor of California is threatening to… *sue* Trump? Something about the National Guard. Honestly these politicians are all the same – bickering like cats in a burlap sack. More trouble than they are worth. Back in my day we settled disputes with a good old fashioned duel! Smithers remind me to challenge that Mayor Quimby to one. No wait he'd probably cry.

E Scooters to the Rescue... of Arson?

And did you hear this? They were tossing these… *Lime e scooters* into the burning vehicles! Lime e scooters! I didn't even know those things existed. Bah! The youth of today. But… I must admit there is something quite poetic about it. Throwing something worthless into a burning more worthless object. It warms my ancient heart. Like a coal fire! *cough cough*

Robotaxi Troubles Across America

So these… *Waymo* vehicles operate in San Francisco Phoenix and Austin too you say? Hmm… Smithers make a note: *Investigate arson rates in those cities*. Perhaps we can… *encourage* a bit of… *spontaneous combustion* in those areas as well. A man can dream can't he? After all it would give me… *great pleasure*.