Release the Hounds! Trump and Musk's Nasty Feud Threatens the GOP

Excellent! A Presidential Pique

Well well well what have we here? It seems that young Donald bless his heart has had a bit of a falling out with that excitable entrepreneur Elon Musk. Trump the chap who once graced my casino with his presence (though he never quite understood the house always wins) is now saying he has no intention of speaking with Musk. "I'm not thinking about him," Trump said practically echoing my sentiments every time Smithers suggests we cut back on caviar. But mark my words a review of Musk's government contracts is "in order." As if I didn't know how to handle government contracts remember when I almost bought the Springfield Isotopes Smithers?

The Red Menace: A Tesla's Tale

And the absurdity deepens! I hear Trump is considering getting rid of the red Tesla he bought. Honestly what is this a clearance sale at Krusty Burger? It’s a clear case of 'who needs a Tesla when you can have a limousine powered by the tears of striking workers?' Honestly.

Musk's Musings: Twitter Tantrums

Musk in his infinite wisdom (or lack thereof) is apparently taking to social media to criticize Trump's tax bill. He amplifies remarks that Trump's "big beautiful bill" would hurt Republicans and add to the nation's $36.2 trillion debt. Typical of these nouveau riche types – all flash and no substance. Where's the loyalty? I bet Smithers would never speak out against me unless I ordered him to... for dramatic effect of course.

The Stock Market Scorn

Ah schadenfreude! Tesla stock took a tumble losing a ridiculous amount of money in a single day. Serves him right. Perhaps he should focus on producing cars that don't spontaneously combust and less time meddling in politics. Reminds me of that time I tried to corner the lemon market. A noble pursuit foiled only by that meddling Bart Simpson!

Apologies? Inconceivable!

One of Musk's allies is calling on him to apologize. Apologize?! Preposterous! When have I ever apologized? Certainly not for blocking out the sun or running over that boy's skateboard. No no no. An apology is a sign of weakness and I Charles Montgomery Burns am anything but weak.

Political Pawns and Broken Promises

The whole affair is a mess a veritable dog's breakfast! Trump's team is reportedly turning against Musk's allies and this feud could damage Republican chances in the next election. All this bickering and backstabbing! What the world needs now is a strong benevolent leader like myself to guide them through these turbulent times. Smithers remind me to order more plutonium. The masses need power... and I need to keep my plant running eh excellent.