Tariffs Are For Losers: Trump Gets Mugged by the Courts!

First You Get the Power Then You Get the Lawsuit!

Alright listen up you punks. So this clown Trump he thought he could just slap tariffs on everyone like he's some kinda kingpin right? He's usin' this old law this 'International Emergency Economic Powers Act' thing sayin' it gives him the balls to do whatever he wants. But guess what? Some judges these three wise guys they ain't buyin' it. They said 'No way Jose! You ain't got the power!' And the Dow jumped 500 points? That's like a mountain of coke just landed on my doorstep. But don't get too excited because…

National Emergency? More Like National Embarrassment!

This Trump fella he declares a 'national economic emergency.' Emergency? I know emergencies pal! Try havin' Sosa breathin' down your neck with a chainsaw! This is just politics see? He's tryin' to bypass Congress like he's got somethin' to hide. The White House is cryin' foul sayin' these deficits are killin' America. 'Wah wah,' they whine. 'It's an emergency!' I tell you what's an emergency runnin' outta blow on a Saturday night. But that's their problem not mine. I gotta worry about makin' my own money see?

A Victory for the Little Guy...Or So They Say

Some Oregon Attorney General this Dan Rayfield he's struttin' around like he won the World Series. He says this ruling is 'a victory for working families and small businesses.' Yeah right. These politicians they're all the same. They talk a big game but they're just lookin' out for themselves. They say these tariffs are killin' the little guy but who really cares? It's a dog eat dog world and I got the teeth to prove it. Just remember what I always say 'The world is yours!'

See You in Court Motherf***ers!

Of course Trump's boys ain't takin' this lyin' down. They're appealin' this thing to another court. This is gonna be one long ugly fight maybe even go all the way to the Supreme Court. These legal eagles are gonna be makin' bank off this while we're all stuck watchin' the circus. It's all a big joke see? They fight we pay. But who am I to complain? I'm just livin' the American dream...or at least I was. But remember what I also said: 'I tell you what's good! Freedom and justice!'

Tariffs on Drugs? That's Rich!

So get this: Trump tried to justify these tariffs by sayin' it'll stop drug trafficking. Like puttin' a tax on TVs is gonna stop the flow of cocaine? Gimme a break! These judges they ain't dumb. They called him out on his BS. They said there's no connection between tariffs and stoppin' drugs. No shit Sherlock! It's like sayin' eatin' pizza is gonna make you rich. It just doesn't make any sense. It's just some funny thing to do. What goes around comes around.

Say Hello to My Little Tariff!

So what's the bottom line here? This whole tariff thing is a mess. Trump thought he could be a big shot but he got slapped down by the courts. Now it's gonna be a legal battle that could drag on for years. In the meantime who knows what's gonna happen with the economy? But one thing's for sure: I'm gonna keep makin' my money no matter what. Because in this world you gotta grab what you can while you can. Capiche? Now go get me some coffee. And make it strong. What do you need to be happy?