Say Hello to My Little Airplane! Trump's Qatar Gift is a Big Pile of...

First You Get the Plane Then You Get the Power!

Listen up you punks! This Pence fella he's squawking again. Thinks Trump getting a fancy jet from Qatar is bad news. Says they play both sides. What the hell does he know about playing sides? I played every side and I came out on top! This is America where you can buy anything you want from anyone you want. Including airplanes if you got the balls! "Every dog has his day."

National Security? More Like National Bore ity!

National security my ass! This ain't about keeping secrets it's about keeping up appearances. Pence worries about intelligence gathering? Please! Everyone's gathering intelligence on everyone else. It's the goddamn 21st century! If I was Trump I'd take the jet slap a 'Scarface' logo on the side and fly it straight to Washington. Show those pencil pushing bureaucrats who's boss! "You need people like me so you can point your fingers and say 'That's the bad guy.'"

From Qatar With Love (and Maybe a Few Strings)

So Qatar wants to give us a $400 million flying palace? Sounds like a sweet deal to me. Maybe they want something in return so what? Everyone wants something. It's called leverage. Pence wants them to spend the money on our military bases? Screw that! Let them give Trump the jet. It's more exciting and besides those bases are probably already overflowing with more money than they can spend. "In this country you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money you get the power. Then when you get the power then you get the women."

Boeing's Slow? More Like Boeing's a Joke!

Trump says he's taking the jet because Boeing is taking too long? Now that's a line I can respect. Those American companies always dragging their feet. Probably got a bunch of communists running the place. Qatar is just being efficient. They see a need they fill a need. That's the American way or at least it used to be. "The world is yours!" ...especially if you can get a free plane.

Trump's Library: Coming Soon to a Runway Near You!

This whole thing is gonna end up in Trump's presidential library? Even better! Imagine the tourists lining up to see the "Scarface One." It'll be bigger than the Mona Lisa. Forget dusty old books this is a flying monument to success. They can even charge extra for tours. 'Welcome to Trump's Library you want to see the plane? That will be $500 dollars!' "I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me you fuck with the best!"

Say Goodnight to the Haters!

Pence and his worries can go straight to hell. This is America baby! Land of the free home of the gaudy airplane. Trump should take the jet pimp it out and fly circles around the White House just to piss everyone off. That's the American Dream right there. "I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." And right now I'm telling you this deal is beautiful. "Okay?"