Iran and the US Talking Nukes Again! Are We All Gonna Die?!

Diplomacy: More Like Diploma CRAZY!

Alright Morty listen up. Iran and the U.S. they're doing that whole song and dance again. Talking about nukes. You know the things that could turn us all into Cronenbergs? Apparently they had a little chat in Oman. Oman Morty! Sounds like a villain's lair from a James Bond movie doesn't it? Anyway this Steve Witkoff guy and some Iranian dude named Araghchi had a 'brief' talk. First time since Obama was trying to be all diplomatic which let's be honest Morty never really works. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub! I'm in great pain.

Trump Card: Still Playing Games?

So Trump's back and he's threatening airstrikes like it's going out of style. Classic Trump am I right? Iran they're not backing down either. They're all like 'We got uranium and we ain't afraid to enrich it!' It's like watching two squirrels fight over a nut except the nut is a nuclear apocalypse. And you know how I feel about nuts Morty. Especially the ones that make me question my own sanity. Existential dread? More like existential threadbare socks!

Oman Oh Man: The Neutral Ground of Nuclear Negotiations

These talks happened in Oman because apparently they have the best shawarma and a complete lack of interdimensional cable reception. The convoy carrying Witkoff was seen speeding away. You know Morty if I had a nickel for every time I saw a suspicious convoy disappearing into traffic I'd have enough to buy my own dimension. Which by the way is always a good investment. Trust me.

Constructive? Or Just Destructive ly Boring?

Araghchi says the meeting was 'constructive.' Yeah right. 'Constructive' like a pile of bricks someone just threw through your window. Four rounds of messages exchanged. Sounds like a really messed up game of interdimensional telephone Morty. And remember never trust a government that says they want to reach an agreement quickly. They're probably hiding something. Like a portal gun... or a Justin Roiland.

Red Lines and Enrichment: The Nitty Gritty

Witkoff wants Iran to dismantle their program. Iran wants to keep enriching uranium. It's the same old crap different timeline. They can offer sanctions relief. Big deal. Sanctions are just a way for rich people to get richer while the rest of us eat dirt. Speaking of dirt I'm pretty sure I left a half eaten burrito under the couch last week. Maybe I should check on that...

Libyan Solution? More Like a Galactic Clusterf*ck!

Netanyahu wants a 'Libyan solution.' Blow up the facilities dismantle everything. Yeah because that worked out so well last time. Iran's all like 'Remember what happened to Gaddafi? We ain't trusting you America!' And honestly Morty can you blame them? Trust is like a fart in a spacesuit. Eventually it's gonna come back to haunt you. Now let's go get some Szechuan sauce Morty. I hear they brought it back from dimension C 132.