Holy Crap Lois! Trump Nukes Iran (Probably)!

Hey Lois Check Out This Underground Bunker!

Alright so Maxar Technologies which sounds like a rejected Transformer released some satellite pics. Turns out these pics show a bunch of trucks and cars hanging out near Iran's Fordo nuclear place before things went boom. Now this Fordo place isn't just any shack; it's like 300 feet underground all covered in concrete. It's basically where Iran keeps its 'special' toys. You know the kind that make big mushroom clouds. Oh and it's near Tehran so you know prime real estate if you like living next to potential disaster.

U.S.A! U.S.A! ...or Did We?

So these air strikes happened on Saturday and Trump bless his heart is running around saying it was a 'spectacular military success' and that we 'completely obliterated' Iran's nuclear stuff. I'm picturing him doing a victory dance like when I win at bingo. But here's the thing nobody can actually confirm if that's true. It's like when I tell Lois I did the dishes – technically true since I moved them from the table to the sink. Perspective people perspective!

The Ol' Radioactive Okey Doke

The International Atomic Energy Agency which sounds like some fancy pants club and Iran's own nuclear safety folks are saying they haven't found any radiation or contamination. So either Trump's exaggerating (shocking I know!) or those Iranians are really good at sweeping up radioactive dust. Maybe they have tiny little radioactive dustpans. Hehehe... tiny dustpans.

Fordo? More Like Fordo GONE!

This Fordo place along with Natanz and Isfahan were supposedly the targets. It’s like when I try to throw darts at a map of the world except instead of a dart it’s a missile and instead of a map it's...well still a map but a really dangerous one! Remember the time I tried to make my own fireworks? This sounds way more dangerous!

Hey Lois Remember That Time I Was President?

You know this whole thing reminds me of that time I accidentally became President of the Pawtucket Brewery. I made some… questionable decisions. Luckily Quagmire was there to keep me from launching the company's beer supply into the sun. Giggity!

Is This the Start of World War... Wait Where's My Beer?

So is this the start of World War III? Probably not. More likely it's just another Tuesday. But hey at least it's something to talk about over a beer with the guys at the Drunken Clam. Speaking of which... anyone seen my beer? Lois! Where's my Pawtucket Patriot Ale?! Come on woman a man needs his beer in times of international crisis! Hehehe... crisis.