Excellent! Trump's Tariff Plan To Make Hollywood Great Again...Or Mine!

A Golden Opportunity Arises

Bah humbug! As if running a nuclear power plant isn't enough to keep a man busy now this Trump fellow wants to meddle in *my* entertainment industry. A 100% tariff on foreign films you say? Excellent! This could be just the opportunity I need to finally wrest control of Hollywood from those… those… *artistic* types. It's always the same isn't it? First you give them an inch and then they're unionizing and demanding health benefits. Smithers remind me to double the security at the power plant. We can't have any of that nonsense spreading.

Incompetence: A Dish Best Served Cold

Trump says the film industry has been decimated you say? While I don't care for his particular brand of… *flamboyance* the man has a point. And blaming that Newsom fellow in Los Angeles? Inspired! That imbecile couldn't manage a lemonade stand let alone a global entertainment hub. Smithers find me dirt on Newsom. Something juicy. We'll leak it to the press. 'Release the hounds' so to speak on his reputation!

The Numbers Never Lie (Unless I Tell Them To)

These 'ProdPro' statistics confirm what I've always suspected: money talks and Hollywood listens. Spending on films in the US is down and those pesky foreigners are snatching up all the productions with their 'tax incentives' and 'infrastructure'. As if infrastructure is built with fairy dust. That’s the problem these days nobody wants to take an old fashioned bribe for a job well done.

Tax Incentives? More Like Tax Extortion!

Tax incentives they say? Sheer poppycock! It's nothing but a thinly veiled attempt to extort money from hardworking job creators like myself. These countries are practically begging for our business and all it takes is a little… *persuasion* from yours truly to level the playing field. Smithers prepare a dossier on these foreign tax schemes. We'll use it to… 'negotiate' a more favorable arrangement for Burns Global Entertainment or whatever I decide to call my inevitable media empire.

Burns Global Entertainment: Coming Soon to a Theater Near You!

Smithers I want a full report on every film studio currently operating in Los Angeles. We need to identify potential… *acquisitions*. Focus on those teetering on the brink of financial ruin. A little… *strategic* investment and we'll have them eating out of the palm of my hand. Imagine it Smithers: Burns Global Entertainment churning out family friendly entertainment with yours truly at the helm. No more of this 'artistic integrity' nonsense. Just pure unadulterated profit!

Excellent...ly Evil!

So thank you Mr. Trump for providing me with this… *opportunity*. While you’re busy ‘Making Hollywood Great Again’ I'll be busy making it… *mine*. Smithers dial up my lawyers. We've got a hostile takeover to orchestrate. And remind me to send Mr. Trump a thank you note. Perhaps a gift basket filled with… industrial diamonds. He does like the shiny things doesn't he? Excellent!