Hail to the King, Baby! Trump Drops New Travel Ban!

Looks Like Someone Didn't Get the Invitation

Alright folks Duke's here to drop some truth bombs. Seems our fearless leader President Trump has slapped a shiny new travel ban on a bunch of countries – mainly from Africa and the Middle East. Afghanistan Myanmar Chad Congo Equatorial Guinea Eritrea Haiti Iran Libya Somalia Sudan and Yemen are officially off the guest list. And a few others like Burundi Cuba Laos Sierra Leone Togo Turkmenistan and Venezuela are getting the side eye too. Looks like someone's not getting a piece of Duke's action...and that's saying something.

Visa Schmisa: The Fine Print

Now before you start cryin' like a bunch of babies listen up. If you already got a visa you're probably still good to go. But if you're thinkin' of applyin' well you better have a damn good reason or you're gonna be SOL. Trump's sayin' it's all about keepin' us safe from 'terrorism related' and 'public safety' risks. Plus he claims some of these countries are slackin' on screening and vetting. I'm all about security baby! Nobody messes with the King and gets away with it. Especially when they are here on an expired visa sounds like time to nuke em.

Haitians Feel the Heat

Heard from a Haitian American lady in Newark waitin' for a flight. She's bummed about the ban says a lot of folks are just tryin' to escape the chaos back home. Can't say I blame 'em but hey tough luck. Gotta keep the riff raff out right? Not my problem. I'm too busy savin' the world... and lookin' damn good doin' it.

Dodging Bullets Legally Speakig

Some fancy pants immigration experts are sayin' this ban is more carefully crafted than Trump's first attempt. Supposedly it's designed to survive any legal challenges. Smart move Donny. Gotta play the game if you wanna win. But hey even the best laid plans can go sideways. Just ask the aliens I fragged. Time to kill!

Blame Game: Overstaying and Boulder

Trump's blamin' folks overstaying their visas and even dragged in that Boulder attack. Turns out the guy was from Egypt which isn't even on the list. Talk about steppin' in it! But hey gotta find someone to blame right? Classic Trump move. Makes me wanna kick some ass... and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum.

Crybabies and Condemnations

Of course the usual suspects are cryin' foul. Oxfam America's president is callin' it divisive and villainizing. Venezuela's President Maduro's whinin' about "stigmatization." Yadda yadda yadda. Look I don't have time for all this drama. I got babes to rescue and aliens to annihilate. So suck it up buttercups! Duke's gotta go.