Hail to the King, Baby! DHS Locks Down ICE Visits...Guess They Don't Want a Piece of Me!

Nobody Messes With the Duke...Except Maybe DHS?

Alright listen up you primitive screwheads! Word on the street is the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is throwing up some roadblocks for members of Congress trying to visit Immigration Enforcement field offices. Apparently some pencil pushing politicians got a little too close for comfort and now DHS is saying 'No way Jose!' Well they didn't say *that* exactly but you get the idea. They're making it harder for these do gooders to see what's happening behind those heavily guarded doors. Time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... and I'm all outta gum.

ICE ICE Baby...You Gonna Let Me In?

Now here's the kicker. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) a DHS agency is now calling the shots on who gets to tour their detention centers. They're playing the 'sole discretion' card meaning they can slam the door in anyone's face anytime they want. Congress is supposed to keep an eye on these guys but ICE is acting like they're running a private club. Reminds me of when I tried to crash that alien party back in '96. Good times good times. This is worse than seeing myself in a mirror!

72 Hours Notice? What Am I a Pizza Delivery Guy?

Under federal law DHS ain't supposed to be blocking Congress from checking out detention facilities. But ICE is pulling a fast one saying that law doesn't apply to their field offices. Instead of waltzing in like a boss members of Congress now have to give at least 72 hours' notice. What is this a hostage negotiation? I wouldn't give those alien bastards 72 minutes! Come get some!

Trump's Wall Just Got a Little Higher

Let's not forget who's calling the shots here. Trump made it clear he wants to deport millions and these new restrictions seem to be part of the plan. He even wants to kick out international students who are pro Palestinian. Sounds like someone's trying to build a wall around information not just the border. Hmm walls remind me of that time I had to blow a few up. Always a satisfying experience I tell ya.

Unreviewable Discretion? Sounds Like a Dictatorship

ICE now claims they have 'sole and unreviewable discretion' to deny or cancel tours. Translation: 'We do what we want when we want and you can't do anything about it.' That's not how democracy is supposed to work folks. Someone needs to remind these guys who's boss. It's time to start exercising my second amendment rights that's what I say!

Democrat Drama: Arrests and Scuffles at the Gate

Of course this isn't going down without a fight. Some Democratic politicians are raising hell getting into standoffs with ICE agents and even getting arrested. One congresswoman is even being prosecuted for a scuffle at a detention center. These guys and gals are walking into battle to make a statement! But in the end they are gonna need a weapon! I would tell them to come get some!