Oracle Screws the Pooch: Hospitals Go Medieval Thanks to Software SNAFU!

What the Hell Happened?

Looks like Oracle done goofed boys and girls! These eggheads managed to bungle some maintenance work and took down the electronic health records at a bunch of Community Health Systems hospitals. Five freakin' days! I've had dates that lasted longer. Apparently they deleted some critical storage which is about as smart as bringing a knife to a gunfight. Time to load up on bubblegum and prepare to kick some ass!

Paper Records? Seriously?

These hospitals were forced to go back to paper records! Paper! In this day and age? I feel like I'm back in the Stone Age! I can't even begin to imagine what kind of clusterfuck that was. I'd rather face down a Cycloid Emperor than deal with that kind of paperwork. They're lucky I wasn't there... I woulda told them: 'Hail to the king baby!' and fixed it myself. Someone has to do the world a favor might as well be me.

45 Hospitals Hit?!

Becker's Hospital Review says 45 hospitals were affected! Holy hell that's a lot of people potentially screwed over! Good thing it wasn't a cyberattack or we'd have bigger problems than a five day headache. Still Oracle needs to get its act together. 'Rest in pieces' is what their systems should say after getting themselves fixed up.

No Material Impact? Bullshit!

CHS is trying to downplay it saying there was 'no material impact.' Yeah right. Tell that to the doctors and nurses scrambling around like headless chickens. I bet patients were thrilled too. Nothing like a little medical chaos to spice things up. I’d rather be saving the earth one alien at a time than have to deal with all this. If I was a patient I’d be saying “Come get some!” of my healthcare back.

Oracle's EHR History: A Real Disaster

This isn't Oracle's first rodeo with EHR disasters. Remember that mess with the Department of Veterans Affairs? Patient safety concerns strategic reviews paused deployments... sounds like a real shitshow. Maybe Oracle should stick to databases and leave the healthcare stuff to the professionals. Time for them to 'get the hell out!'

Duke's Diagnosis: Needs More Ass Kicking!

Look I'm not a doctor but I know a screw up when I see one. Oracle needs to get its act together and figure out how to run a system that doesn't crash every time someone sneezes. Until then I'll be here ready to deliver a dose of good ol' Duke Nukem justice. 'I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum.'