Target's Takin' a Dive? Tony Montana's Got a Calendar Spread for That, You Know!

The Risk Premium: Like Payin' Omar Little for Protection But for Your Money

A risk premium eh? It's like payin' Omar Little to protect your stash only this time it's your money. You gotta get paid extra for takin' the heat the risk the fuckin' uncertainty! And Target? They bleedin' risk like a stuck pig makin' investors wanna run for the hills. They want more assurance than the other players in the field!

Target's Earnings: Lower Than My Patience When Someone Messes With My Family

Target's makin' less dough even though they're sellin' more stuff! That's like havin' a mountain of coke but no buyers see? Walmart's laughin' all the way to the bank while Target's stock is doin' the limbo. They gotta turn things around before they become the next K Mart. "Every dog has his day" I had mine they need to get their hustle back!

Walmart vs. Target: David and Goliath Except Goliath's Already Won

Walmart's kickin' ass and takin' names while Target's losin' ground faster than Sosa when the cops showed up. Walmart's makin' more money than God and Target's just kinda… there. They need to step up or get stepped on! "You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!"

Retail Theft: Shoppin' Ain't Free Unless You're a Thieving Bastard

Target's shutterin' stores 'cause of all the crime! People stealin' like they work for the government. Ain't nothin' free in this world except maybe lead poisoning. But hey at least they ain't trimmin' as many underperformin' stores as Walmart so that's somethin' right? "I'm Tony Montana! You fuck with me you fuck with the best!" Maybe Target should start sayin' that to the shoplifters.

The Contrarian Bet: Like Backin' a Horse With Three Legs But Maybe It'll Surprise Ya

Only a third of analysts are bettin' on Target! That's like bettin' on the Dolphins to win the Super Bowl! But hey sometimes the underdog bites back. And Target's got a balance sheet that gives 'em some wiggle room see? They gotta use it before it's lights out.

The Calendar Spread: A Play for the Smart Money or Those Who Think They Are

Here's the deal: buy some options way out sell some short term. It costs less than buying the stock but you still get a piece of the action if Target turns around. It's a gamble sure but what ain't in this life? It's like slingin' coke high risk high reward. "I always tell the truth. Even when I lie." And this calendar spread it might just be the truth for Target.