Say Hello to My Little... Non-Alcoholic Beer! It's Taking Over, You Know?

First You Get the Money Then You Get the Power Now You Get the... Non Alcoholic Beer?

Listen to me you think I Tony Montana would be caught dead with a non alcoholic beer? But these industry guys they're saying this no alcohol swill is gonna be bigger than ale. Ale! Can you believe that eh? But hey money talks right? This whole world is going crazy! What's next non alcoholic cigars?

The World is Yours... But Less Drunk!

So apparently regular beer is down about one percent this year but this fake beer? Up nine percent! Nine percent! That's like... almost ten you know? They say it's been growing since 2018. So what everyone's gone soft? I build my empire off hard work and hard liquor but these pendejos want fake beer now eh?

Lager is Still King But This No Booze Brew is Creepin' Up!

This report says lager is still the big boss like ninety two percent of the market. But this non alcoholic stuff is trying to climb the ladder. They say people are drinking less alcohol. Less alcohol? What's the point of living then eh? This ain't the American dream I signed up for!

Gen Z and Millennials Gone Soft!

It's the young punks Gen Z and Millennials who are driving this madness. 'Sober curious'? 'Damp lifestyle'? What is this a joke? Back in my day we drank hard we lived hard and we didn't need fancy words for it. These guys are scared of a little buzz eh? Maybe they need a little visit from Tony Montana to set them straight.

Even the Big Boys are Selling Out!

Guinness Heineken Budweiser... everyone's got a non alcoholic version now. They're all chasing the money just like everyone else. These companies made $17 billion on this crap last year. $17 billion! Maybe I should get in on this. Tony Montana's Non Alcoholic Elixir with a hint of... ambition! But the real action is in Germany Spain Japan and here in America.

Athletic Brewing: The New Kid on the Block

There is a small company named Athletic Brewing that is making waves. Valued at around $800 million! Eh I have made more than that in a single night! They have only been around since 2018. But you know what? These guys are trying to take my place. And even celebrities are backing this swill now Tom Holland Dwyane Wade Dax Shepherd. These guys I don't know them. You need people like Manny Ribera. Who is a real friend. Even if he is a rat!