Say Hello To My Little Listener! Tony Montana's Guide to Parenting Without the BS

Because I Said So? Fuggedaboutit!

Listen up you punks! This broad Reem Raouda she's got some ideas about kids. And surprisingly they ain't half bad see? She's saying ditch the 'Because I said so!' routine. That's for chumps. You think I got where I am by just bossing people around with no reason? Okay maybe a little. But you gotta explain yourself even to these little rugrats. It's about respect see? Like I always say 'You gotta be reasonable right?'

No Privilege? No Problem. I Got Agency For That.

This 'If you don't listen you lose your Xbox!' crap? That's bush league. You ain't teaching them nothing but to be sneaky little bastards. Instead try this: 'When you're ready to do your homework we can watch that stupid cartoon.' See? It's all about giving them the illusion of choice. Like I had a choice when Sosa wanted me to whack that journalist. Okay bad example. But you get the idea.

Stop Crying? You're Fine? Get Real!

Crying? Whining? It's part of the job paisan. Don't tell them to 'Stop crying you're fine!' What are you a heartless monster? They got feelings even if they're over some dumb toy. Ask 'em what's wrong. Maybe they'll tell you. Maybe they'll just scream louder. Either way you tried. Remember what I always say: 'I always tell the truth even when I lie.'

How Many Times? Enough To Fill A Swimming Pool Of Tears!

'How many times do I have to tell you?' That's a sucker's question. They ain't listening 'cause they don't understand or they're just being punks. Instead of yelling try figuring out why they ain't doing what you want. Maybe they're stupid. Maybe you're not explaining it right. Either way it's a two way street. Like my business deals: everybody gotta get something or nobody gets nothin'.

You Know Better? Maybe Maybe Not!

This 'You know better than that' line? That's just shaming them. They already feel like crap. Instead tell them something's messing with their head and offer to help. Pretend you care even if you don't. It's called being a good parent. You want them to be good to you when you get old and need someone to change your diapers right?

The Real Secret? It's All About Control Baby!

So the real secret to getting these little gremlins to listen? It ain't magic. It's about creating an environment where they *think* they have a choice. You're still in charge see? You're still the boss. You just gotta play the game. Be respectful be empathetic and for god's sake don't let them see you sweat. Now go out there and make some magic happen. But remember always get yours. Even if you have to lie to get it. *The World is Yours!*