Hulk Smash Tariffs! Heineken Scared of Tiny Taxes!

Tiny Tariffs Make Big Company Cry!

Hulk read news! Heineken puny beer maker scared! They cry about tariffs! Tariffs are like tiny ants but Heineken acts like they're Hulk! They say tariffs make them change spending. What does that even MEAN?! Hulk doesn't understand. Hulk only understands SMASH!

Heineken Change Mind Like Banner Change Pants!

Heineken boss Dolf van den Brink he used to say tariffs not big deal! Now he say tariffs make beer sales weak! Like Banner! One minute calm next minute...HULK! Heineken change mind faster than Hulk change from Banner! This make Hulk ANGRY! You no trick Hulk!

Other Beer Companies No So Tough Either

AB InBev another beer company! They thought they were safe. CEO Michel Doukeris sounding like puny mortal. Now even they worry! Everyone scared of tariffs! Hulk laugh! Tariffs no scare Hulk! Hulk smash tariffs!

Constellation Brands See Future Future Is Grim!

Constellation Brands they look into future! See tariffs hurting them! Like Doctor Strange seeing all the bad futures. They make less money in future! Hulk feel bad for them...NO! Hulk doesn't feel bad! They should have asked Hulk for help! Hulk would have smashed tariffs before they were even there!

Hulk No Understand Economics Only Understand Smash!

All this talk of "capital allocation" and "consumer sentiment" makes Hulk's head hurt! Hulk no care about puny words! Hulk only care about smashing! If tariffs hurt beer Hulk smash tariffs! If tariffs hurt people Hulk SMASH TARIFFS! Hulk is the strongest there is!

Hulk Will Drink All The Beer!

So Heineken scared? Good! Maybe they lower beer prices! Then Hulk will buy all the beer! Hulk will show them how to handle problems! Drink beer and smash! That's Hulk's plan. Hulk is always angry...and thirsty!