HULK SMASH CRYPTO AGAIN! SoFi to Re-Enter Crypto Arena, Hulk Want In!

SoFi Think They Tough? Hulk Laugh!

Puny humans at SoFi they think they so smart! CEO Anthony Noto say SoFi bring back crypto investing. Hulk remember when they scared of shiny digital rocks and run away! Now because Trump man say it okay they crawl back? Hulk think that funny. They drop crypto like hot potato now they want it back? Like Banner always say 'That's my secret Captain: I'm always angry.' Hulk always angry at these flippy floppy humans!

Hulk No Like Being Told What to Do!

Hulk hear SoFi drop crypto because government man say so. They have to listen to get 'bank charter.' What is 'bank charter' anyway? Sound boring! Hulk no like rules! Hulk smash rules! But SoFi they listen. They give puny customers choice: go to Blockchain.com or sell crypto. Hulk think that weak. If Hulk had crypto Hulk hold! Nobody tell Hulk what to do with shiny rocks!

Trump Man Say Crypto Okay? Hulk Confused!

Now news say 'fundamental shift' because Trump man change rules. Hulk no understand politics! But Hulk understand this: SoFi now make 'aggressive push' into crypto. Noto say they want crypto in 'each product area.' What that even mean? More confusing words! Maybe they want Hulk to use crypto to buy bigger pants? Pants always rip when Hulk angry!

SoFi Want to Be Like Hulk – Big and Strong!

SoFi call itself 'one stop shop' for digital finance. They say they have 'fastest revenue growth.' Hulk no know what 'revenue' is but it sound like SoFi want to be big and strong like Hulk! Maybe they eat gamma radiation too? Probably not. They just talk big. Hulk show them what big really is!

Crypto Borrowing? Hulk Smash That Idea!

Noto say future products include borrowing cash based on crypto. Hulk think that stupid. Borrowing? Hulk no borrow! Hulk take! Just kidding... mostly. And using crypto in payments? Hulk prefer to smash things not pay for them. Though maybe Hulk pay for extra strong protein shakes with crypto? Hmm... Hulk think about it.

Hulk Still Confused But Hulk Ready to Smash Crypto... or Buy It!

So SoFi back in crypto game. Hulk still not sure what crypto is but if it make Hulk stronger Hulk in! If it try to control Hulk Hulk smash! Either way Hulk ready. Hulk always ready! As Banner always mumbling 'Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.' And Hulk very very angry... at all these confusing words!