HULK SMASH AI! ZUCK BUCKS BUY BRAINS!

ZUCK FEEL HEAT ZUCK SPEND GREEN!

Hulk read news. Puny Zuckerberg he feel heat! He open wallet! Like Hulk when Banner get angry! But instead of smashing Zuck buy! He buy brains! $14.3 BILLION for Scale AI? Hulk could smash a whole city for that! He want to be biggest strongest AI… Like HULK! But Hulk strongest ONE there IS!

META TRY BUY EVERYONE!

Hulk hear Meta try buy Safe Superintelligence. What a name! Sounds like place Hulk would NEVER go! They even talk to Perplexity AI. Hulk not know what these things DO but they cost LOTS of money! Zuck say AI transform everything. Hulk think it make things more COMPLICATED! Where is the simple smash?!

ZUCK GIVE ALL THE MONEY!

Zuck increase spending! $64 billion? $72 billion?! Hulk could buy a WHOLE GALAXY with that! He wants better data centers. More computers. More… smart stuff. But Hulk think smart stuff needs Hulk to smash it sometimes! Keep it in line!

Llama... WEAK!

Meta have Llama AI. Llama 4! But it FAILURE! Even Zuck know it! Hulk LAUGH! Llama weak! Hulk smash Llama! Meta need BIGGER STRONGER AI. Like… Hulk AI! Then everyone scared of Meta! Good! You wouldn't like Meta when it's angry.

BRAIN DRAIN META GAIN!

Zuck hire Wang from Scale AI. MIT dropout! Smart guy! Zuck ALSO hire Friedman and Gross. Smart guys too! They all work on AI things. Meta even give them stake in company. Hulk want stake in Meta! Hulk smash good program bad! Maybe Hulk need learn… No! Hulk SMASH!

OPENAI BOSS WHINE!

OpenAI boss Altman WHINE! He say Meta offer his workers $100 million bonuses! Hulk think that's a lot of bananas! He say Meta think OpenAI biggest enemy. GOOD! Competition make strong! Like Hulk fighting Abomination! But Hulk ALWAYS win in the end! Remember: Hulk is the strongest ONE there IS!