Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Google Bets Big on Fusion Power (Finally, Something Useful!)

Great Now Even Google's Doing Fusion

Alright alright settle down Morty. So apparently Google's jumping on the fusion bandwagon. Partnering with some MIT spin off called Commonwealth Fusion Systems (CFS). First commercial commitment they're calling it. Translation: They're throwing money at a pipe dream hoping it turns into a giant clean energy fountain. I get it Morty. Makes about as much sense as interdimensional cable but hey at least it's not NFTs.

200 Megawatts? That's Like Enough to Power My Garage.

They're talking about buying 200 megawatts from CFS's ARC plant. ARC? Sounds like something I'd use to weld alternate realities together. Supposedly enough to power 150,000 homes by the early 2030s. Early 2030s Morty! That's like what ten more seasons of this show? And they want more power from additional ARC plants? Good for them just hope they got that Szechuan sauce deal locked down.

Google's Got a Boner for Fusion

Turns out Google's been creeping on CFS since 2021 and has increased their stake. They're not telling us how much money they are throwing at this... Of course they aren't. Michael Terrell from Google spouts some corporate jargon about transformative potential and meeting world energy demands. Yeah yeah tell it to the space snakes buddy. Just don't get any ideas about putting ads in my fusion reactor.

Fusion 101: Exploding Atoms for Fun and Profit

Now let's get into the nitty gritty. Fusion: taking atoms heating them to over 100 million degrees Celsius – hotter than your mom after a few glasses of wine Morty – and then squishing them together. This creates plasma which then makes energy and they want to convert that into carbon free electricity. It's like a tiny star in a box! What could possibly go wrong?

Everyone's a Winner (Except Maybe the Planet)

CFS is just one of the many labs in this fusion race. Google is no stranger to funding these companies they already have invested in TAE Technologies. Competition breeds innovation Morty! Remember you need to fail a thousand times before you get something right. Or in this case before you accidentally create a black hole and destroy the universe. Details details.

So What Does This Actually Mean?

Bottom line Morty: Google's betting on fusion. Maybe it'll work maybe it won't. But if it does we might actually have a shot at not destroying the planet. Of course then we'll probably just find some other way to screw things up. That's just how we roll. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!