Wubba Lubba Dub-Debt! Germany's Economy Still Needs Schwifty Moves

Inflation? More Like Infla SHMEDGE tion

Alright Morty listen up. These Krauts they're all worked up about inflation hitting 2.2%. Big whoop. It's like oh no my plumbus costs a schmeckle more! Get over it. Core inflation’s up too? 2.9%? That’s just the universe telling you to buy less crap Morty. Quit your whining and let's go get some Szechuan sauce.

GDP: Good Day Possibly Disaster!

So Germany's economy grew by 0.2%. Point freaking two percent! That's barely enough to power my spaceship's windshield wipers. They're patting themselves on the back for avoiding a 'technical recession.' Morty that's like congratulating yourself for only getting slightly poisoned. And Trump's tariffs? Please that's just one more reason to invent a portal gun and trade with sentient corn planets. At least they appreciate a good deal on concentrated dark matter.

The Auto Industry? More Like Auto Pilot to Failure

These Germans they used to be all about cars right? Now they're getting their bumpers handed to them by China. News flash geniuses the universe is constantly evolving. Adapt or get Schwifty! Time to build some interdimensional cars Morty. I'm thinking a vehicle that runs on the tears of Summer's disappointment. Now that's a renewable resource.

Fiscal Fiddling: Rearranging Deck Chairs on the Titanic

Oh they're shifting around their debt rules huh? Throwing half a trillion euros at infrastructure and climate change? That's cute. It's like trying to fix a broken toilet with a band aid. The universe is a chaotic uncaring void Morty. But hey at least they're trying which is more than I can say for your grandpa er myself most of the time.

Trump's Tariffs: Time to Get Riggity Riggity Wrecked!

Trump's tariffs? Seriously? That's just galactic level dumbassery. It's like starting a fight with a Gooble Box and expecting to win. The guy’s got less economic sense than a Butter Robot. But hey who needs trade when you can just invent a device that turns gold into...I don't know something equally valuable but less boring? I'll work on that later.

Final Verdict: Get Schwifty or Get Lost!

Look Morty Germany's economy is like a plumbus after a bad day at the factory. It’s messed up. But hey the universe is full of messed up things. The only way to survive is to get Schwifty. So crank up the music drop your pants and let's dance our way out of this economic black hole. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!