Senate's New Car Tax Break: Get Schwifty with Subsidies (But Only If You're Rich Enough!)

Wubba Lubba Dub Tax Break!

Alright Morty listen up! The Senate Finance Committee – those bureaucratic bozos – just dropped a tax package that's supposed to be like a 'gift' to drivers. Turns out it's more like a rickroll! They're dangling a tax break for auto loan interest but guess what? It's only for NEW cars. Used car buyers? Aw geez Morty they’re screwed! As always!

New Car Smell New Tax Breaks

So these geniuses in the Senate – and I use that term loosely Morty – are trying to pass this thing by July 4th hoping to get it to President Trump's desk. The plan? Give people a chance to deduct up to $10,000 of auto loan interest annually assuming they bought a *new* car. Now I ask you Morty isn't that just great? Only new cars benefit from this? I'm calling bull sh*t on this one.

Exclusions? Oh They're Schwifty!

Of course there are catches. It's like a level 9000 bureaucracy Morty! Only US assembled cars minivans SUVs pickup trucks and motorcycles qualify. No ATVs trailers or campers – sorry rednecks! And the loan has to be secured AFTER December 31 2024. First loan only Morty! No refinancing shenanigans! They think they're so clever with all this red tape... but I see right through their games they can't hide behind this forever!

The Rich Get Richer Morty

Here's the kicker Morty: this whole thing mainly benefits the rich. You know the guys who can afford new cars in the first place. A study shows that most low and middle income folks are buying used cars. The rich folk making on average $115,000 a year can afford new cars. The other blokes making $96,000 a year on average can't and buy used ones. This tax break is like giving free micro transactions to whales in a mobile game it's just plain unfair Morty!

Tariffs? Aw Geez...

And get this Morty! Trump's tariffs on imported cars and car parts are gonna jack up car prices. So this tax break? It's like getting a coupon for 5% off after they raised the price by 50%. It's a cosmic joke Morty! A cosmic joke! "Tariffs will completely eat up the value of this deduction for a lot of people," some egghead economist said. He sounds like a Jerry but he's right.

Grass... Tastes Bad!

Bottom line Morty: this whole tax break thing? It's a load of interdimensional garbage. It's designed to help the rich get richer while the rest of us are stuck eating grass – metaphorically speaking of course. Unless you're into that sort of thing no judgement. Just another day in the multiverse Morty. Time to go get schwifty in here!