Senate Tells California to Get Schwifty with its EV Mandates: Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub, My Gas Guzzler!

Another day Another Clusterfuck!

Alright listen up you beautiful clueless idiots. Rick Sanchez here reporting live from the smelliest timeline. The U.S. Senate bless their feeble bureaucratic hearts has just voted to basically tell California to shove its fancy pants electric vehicle (EV) plan where the sun don't shine. Apparently forcing people to ditch their gas guzzlers by 2035 is a big no no. And by big no no I mean it threatens the profits of corporations like General Motors and Toyota. And you know we can't be doing that! Because priorities Morty! Priorities! They might as well just rename this planet 'Planet of Corporate Greed' am I right?

EPA's Waiver Gets the Bird

So here's the pickle or rather the pickle Rick. California got this sweet waiver from the EPA thanks to that fossil Biden allowing them to mandate at least 80% EVs by 2035. Now the Senate in a move that can only be described as 'totally expected,' is trying to repeal that waiver. Why? Because according to those corporate shills over at the Alliance for Automotive Innovation these EV sales mandates were 'never achievable.' Never achievable? Please! I achieve more impossible things before my first interdimensional beer of the morning. It's all about money Morty. Follow the damn money!

GM Toyota and the Art of Lobbying Like Jerks

Of course General Motors Toyota and the rest of those gas loving goons are popping champagne bottles right now. They heavily lobbied against these rules and they won. Color me shocked! NOT! Meanwhile California and all those tree hugging environmental groups are crying into their organic kombucha. They say this EV push is essential for cleaner air and all that jazz. But who cares about the environment when there's money to be made am I right? 'Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!' That's just my way of saying 'I am in great pain please help me.'

Tesla Keeps Silent Probably Counting Their Money

And where's Tesla in all this? Radio silence. Probably too busy swimming in a pool of money earned by selling overpriced golf carts to rich people. Can't say I blame 'em. Smartest business move I've ever seen. In this context and with the current state of politics it's just a matter of time sooner or later they'll be singing a different tune.

More Attacks on Electric Vehicles: They're Coming Right For Us!

But wait there's more! The House of Representatives is also getting in on the action. They passed a bill to end that $7,500 tax credit for new EVs slap a $250 annual fee on EVs for road repair and repeal emissions rules. Talk about a coordinated assault on the future. It's like these guys are actively trying to speed up the apocalypse. Do they know something we don't? Probably just trying to delay the inevitable Morty. But trust me the future is electric whether they like it or not.

California's Impractical Deadlines: It's Like Trying to Teach a Rock to Play the Saxophone!

California's rules are demanding 35% of all new light duty vehicles in 2026 be zero emission models. The automakers are whining that it's impossible. Given that current EV sales are like 10% or lower in some states they might have a point. But hey why not aim for the impossible? It's not like aiming low has ever gotten us anywhere. But they can always go f*** themselves... heh hehe...