Mercedes Dodges Trump's Tariffs Like I Dodge Responsibility Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub!

Tariffs? More Like TARI FLOP!

Alright Morty listen up! So Mercedes Benz right? Real fancy schmancy car company. Turns out that orange guy – you know the one who makes things more complicated than interdimensional cable – he slapped some tariffs on imported cars. Twenty five percent Morty! That’s like… a lot of schmeckles. But Mercedes? They're not just gonna sit there like a Jerry they're getting smart. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

Alabama Sweet Home... for Car Manufacturing?

They're building a new car a 'core segment' one – whatever that is probably something boring. Anyway they're building it in Alabama! Yeah that's right Morty. America! Where they have... uh... definitely the best... everything. This Tuscaloosa plant is already pumping out SUVs like the GLE and GLS. Apparently those rednecks actually know how to build cars. Who knew?

Local for Local: The Corporate Catchphrase of the Century

So when asked if the new Alabama operation was a direct consequence of the tarrifs Mercedes Benz gave the corporate version of 'eat my shorts' claiming that their local for local strategy which is apparently their excuse for everything. As if building cars where they sell them is some kind of genius move! Wake me up when they start building them on other planets Morty. That's when things get interesting!

Export Hub? More Like EX BORE T Hub!

Sixty percent of the SUVs built in Alabama are exported to other countries. So basically Alabama is becoming a car factory for the rest of the world. Morty it is a mad mad mad mad world.

Twenty Five Percent? More Like TWENTY FIVE PERCENT OFF MY SANITY!

And don't even get me started on the 25% tariffs on auto parts coming down the pipeline. It is like the world is just a giant messed up game of Roy: A Life Well Lived except it is being designed by a bunch of idiots Morty!

Alright Morty Let's Go Get Some Szechuan Sauce...

So there you have it Morty. Another day another corporate dance around politics economics and whatever other 'ics' you can think of. It's all just a big confusing mess Morty! Now if you excuse me I am going to go and find some of that Szechuan sauce that I have been talking about. I have to find it Morty!