FDA Gets Schwifty: New Booster Rules, Because Apparently, Science Matters (burp)

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub FDA's Changing the Game!

Alright Morty listen up. The FDA those bureaucratic squiggly dudes they're changing the rules on Covid boosters. Apparently shoving random serums into everyone's arms wasn't the most *scientific* thing to do. Who knew right? They want actual *proof* these boosters do something for healthy people. Clinical trials Morty! It's like they pulled a science outta their butts.

High Risk? Step Right Up for your Shot!

So if you're old or have some 'pre existing conditions' (like being a Jerry) you're still good to go for your annual booster. They'll just check if your body throws a proper hissy fit – you know an 'immune response'. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Just don't expect them to check if it actually *does* anything. Government efficiency Morty! It's a beautiful thing... or not.

Healthy? Prove It Ya Dingus!

But if you're one of those annoyingly healthy types congrats you're now a guinea pig Morty. They want real actual clinical evidence that these boosters prevent something bad from happening. Like you know *not* getting sick. Imagine that! It's like they're actually thinking about uh 'science' or whatever.

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is in the Mix?!

Apparently this Kennedy guy is shaking things up. Good for him. It's always good to shake things up Morty because if you don't you're just gonna end up like a Jerry: boring predictable and covered in... well you don't wanna know.

One Size Fits All? More Like One Size Fits None!

These FDA brainiacs are finally catching on to what I've been saying all along: a 'one size fits all' vaccine policy is dumber than a box of hammers. Every planet every dimension every *body* is different. You can't just slather everyone with the same goo and expect it to work. It's basic interdimensional science people!

Time to Get Riggety Riggety Wrecked... with Data!

Look Morty the point is they're trying to be a *little* more careful. Maybe. Probably not. But hey at least they're pretending to care about something other than lining pharmaceutical pockets. Now if you'll excuse me I've got a portal to open and a universe to... well you get the idea. Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!