Holy Crap! Senate Stuck in D.C. Until They Pass Trump's 'Big, Beautiful Bill'!

The Heat is On! Literally It's Summer in D.C.

Alright so apparently these Senators are stuck in Washington D.C. longer than I'm stuck explaining my bar tab to Lois. Senator John Thune sounds like a real go getter says they ain't leaving until they pass President Trump's 'big beautiful bill.' I bet it's not as beautiful as when Lois wears that red dress... Hey Lois remember that red dress? Giggity!

No Vacay for You! July 4th Plans Officially Cancelled!

These poor saps were supposed to be on vacation next week grilling burgers and watching fireworks. But nope! They're stuck debating about something called a 'megabill.' Sounds like a giant sandwich from that place down the street. Maybe if they added some peanut butter it would pass easier! Remember that time I tried to pass a law about only eating peanut butter? Good times good times.

Fiscal Hawks vs. The Bill: A Battle of Bird Brains?

So some of these senators they're being all 'responsible' and stuff saying this bill is going to explode the national debt. Explode? Like when I accidentally mixed Mentos and Diet Coke? Oh man Brian was cleaning that up for days. Senator Ron Johnson is apparently leading the charge against it. I bet he's no fun at parties. No fun at all.

Thune's Still Holding On! Like I Hold On to My Beer!

Despite all the complaining Thune is still trying to get this bill passed. He's like me trying to win that eating contest last year... It didn't end well. I think I saw a hot dog come out of my nose. Anyway he says they're gonna take it up this week. Good luck with that buddy! You'll need it.

The White House Weighs In: Get It Done!

Even the White House is breathing down their necks! Some press secretary Karoline Leavitt whatever is all 'It's imperative the Senate returns this historic piece of legislation on July 4th!' Historic? More like hysteric! I bet they're all sweating bullets. Reminds me of the time I had to write a report for work... *shudders*

So What Now? I Need a Beer!

So there you have it. Senators stuck in D.C. a bill no one agrees on and a deadline that's closer than Chris Farley doing a Chippendales audition. Me? I'm going to The Drunken Clam. Anyone want to join? Lois? Hello? Giggity!