Holy Crap Lois! Trump's Trade War is Messing With Our Movies!

Freakin' Sweet Tariffs!

Alright so here's the deal. You know how Trump loves a good trade war like I love a good… uh… well you know. Anyway he slapped some tariffs on China and China's all like 'Oh yeah? We'll show you!' And now Hollywood's caught in the crossfire! It's like that time I tried to mediate between Brian and Stewie – total disaster!

Disney and Warner Bros. Are Screwed!?

Apparently Disney and Warner Bros. are feeling the pinch. Their stocks took a nosedive faster than I can chug a Pawtucket Patriot Ale. Seems China's not letting as many Hollywood movies into their theaters. Oh this is worse than the time I tried to make my own movie! Remember 'The Drunken Clam: The Movie'?! Yeah nobody does.

China's Got Their Own Blockbusters

Turns out China's been busy making their own movies and they're pretty good! Like better than Adam Sandler good. People are actually going to see *them* instead of our stuff! What the deuce? Is nothing sacred anymore? I mean come on Lois even I know you don't mess with a good 'Star Wars' rip off... unless it's mine of course! I call it Space Nuts: A Peter Griffin Parody!

Remember When China Loved Us?

Back in the day Hollywood was all about China! They made movies just to get those sweet sweet Chinese dollars. Now it's like that time I tried to impress Quagmire – complete and utter rejection! Giggity! According to this Ann Sarnoff lady “The Chinese market has become very challenging for U.S. studios." No kidding Sherlock!

No More Sweet 34 Movie Deals!

There used to be this deal where China *had* to show 34 of our movies every year. But that expired in 2017! Now it's like trying to get Chris to do his homework – impossible! This Aynne Kokas broad is saying that under the first Trump administration movies weren't a priority during trade talks. I guess they were too busy building walls or something. Meh I still think the wall is just a waste of money when you can dig a tunnel!

So What Does This Mean for Peter Griffin?

Honestly I don't know! Maybe I'll have to start making my own movies again. "Space Nuts 2: Electric Boogaloo" anyone? Or maybe I'll just stick to what I do best: sitting on the couch drinking beer and yelling at the TV. Either way you can bet your sweet bippy I'll be keeping an eye on this whole trade war thing. It's more exciting than a chicken fight and almost as confusing as trying to understand what Stewie's saying half the time!