Holy Crap Lois! JBS is Public! A Meat Mountain of Money!

Giggity Giggity! They're Public!

Alright Lois so I'm reading this thing right? About this company JBS. Sounds like alphabet soup but it's actually a meat company from Brazil! They just went public in the U.S. and are worth like thirty BILLION dollars! That's more than Tyson Foods and you know how much I love chicken Lois. It's like that time I ate all those rotisserie chickens remember? 'Freakin' sweet!' That's what I said. I bet they have a lifetime supply of meat for me huh?

Delisted? More Like Deliciously Listed!

So apparently they were on some Sao Paolo Exchange but they dumped it like I dump my pants after a long day of... uh... 'work'. They say it was part of some master plan but I bet it's because they knew they'd make way more moolah here in the good ol' US of A. Reminds me of that time I tried to start my own business selling 'Peter Pots'. Lois said it was a bad idea but what does she know? I was gonna be rich!

77.2 Billion? That's a Lotta Clams!

Last year they made $77.2 BILLION. Lois that's enough to buy a lifetime supply of beer chicken wings and maybe even a solid gold Brian! Okay maybe not the Brian but definitely enough to buy a year's worth of Quagmire's 'services'. Giggity! But with all that money where can i get my grub on? I'm hungry.

Corruption? I Thought it Said "Corndogs"!

Now here's where it gets a little dicey. Apparently these guys had some shall we say 'issues' with bribery and corruption. Sounds like a Tuesday at the Drunken Clam! They even had to pay a HUGE fine. I bet they felt like I did after that time I accidentally bought a timeshare in Rhode Island. 'Oh no! What have I done?!'

Trump Meat and Money? Sounds Like a Party!

And get this they donated a ton of money to Trump's inauguration! Five million bucks! Now I'm not sayin' anything but that's a lot of dough. Reminds me of that time I tried to bribe the guy at the buffet to let me cut the line. Didn't work. But hey at least I got a free shrimp cocktail out of it. What the deuce?

Approved! Let the Meat Rain!

So after all the drama the SEC finally gave them the thumbs up. I guess money talks eh? Now JBS is trading on the New York Stock Exchange and I'm just sitting here wondering if they deliver. Lois get me my phone! I need to order a lifetime supply of meat. And maybe some of those corndogs I thought I read about earlier. Hehehehe.