Holy Crap Lois! GameStop Just Went Full Bitcoin Bonanza!

Giggity Giggity Crypto!

Alright Lois this is bigger than that time I tried to pay for groceries with clams! GameStop remember them? The place where you used to trade in games for like a nickel? Well they've gone and bought 4,710 Bitcoins! That's like more money than I've spent on beer... in a week! Apparently they're trying to be like MicroStrategy but I'm not sure that's a good idea. Remember that time I tried to be like Quagmire? Yeah didn't end well. Giggity!

Half a Billion Dollars?!

So these Bitcoins cost GameStop a whopping $512.6 million! That’s more than PeterVision owed me for all those times he watched TV. Lois that's enough money to buy a lifetime supply of chicken fights. Last week Bitcoin was near a record high of $112,000 because of trade tensions and credit rating downgrade. Apparently that makes Bitcoin seem like a safe place. Who knew?

Uh Oh Spaghettios!

Now here's the kicker. The stock dipped 9% after the news! Ouch! That's gotta sting more than when I tried to deep fry my cell phone. It looks like people are unsure about this whole crypto thing. I mean I still don't understand it. Is it like that time I invented my own currency 'Peter Bucks'? They didn't exactly take off.

Show Me The Money!

But hey they had a whole pile of cash to play with! About $4.76 billion. That's like finding a twenty in your old pants but multiplied by... a lot. I wonder if they'll use some of that to finally fix those sticky controllers they sell. You know the ones that make it impossible to win at 'Family Guy: Back to the Multiverse'?

Following the Leader (But Is It a Good Idea?)

They're copying MicroStrategy which by the way is now called Strategy. So original! MicroStrategy uh I mean Strategy went all in on Bitcoin and their stock went all wacko. Up and down like my weight after Thanksgiving. GameStop's hoping for the same but I got a feeling this could be a wild ride. Like that time I raced Ernie the Giant Chicken... on roller skates.

Can CEO Ryan Cohen Save the Day?

This whole thing is the brainchild of CEO Ryan Cohen. He wants to revive GameStop like how I try to revive my career as a race car driver every Tuesday. He's cutting costs and trying to make them profitable. Well good luck to him! Maybe he should try selling more whoopie cushions. Those things are always a hit!