Holy Crap Lois! Flying Taxis are Coming to Dubai! Road House!

Freakin' Sweet Flying Cars!

Alright alright alright! Peter Griffin here reporting live from my recliner after a long day of... well you know. I just heard the news and it's crazier than that time I fought the giant chicken for three days! Apparently these folks at Joby Aviation are bringing flying taxis to Dubai. Flying taxis Lois! Remember when I tried to build my own helicopter out of a lawnmower and some duct tape? Yeah this is way cooler...and less likely to end with me stuck in a tree.

Giggity Giggity Let's Fly High!

So Joby (sounds like a rejected Teletubby am I right?) sent their first flying machine to the United Arab Emirates. They even did some test flights! I bet they were all like 'Giggity giggity let's see if this thing actually works!' And get this they're planning to launch the full service in 2026! That's sooner than I thought I'd finally lose that last ten pounds. Speaking of which anyone got any pizza rolls?

The UAE: From Sand Dunes to Air Taxis!

According to JoeBen Bevirt who I assume is the brains behind this operation (and not just some guy named Joe) Dubai is gonna be the "launchpad for a global revolution in how we move." A revolution! Like that time I tried to start a revolution against having to do chores. Didn't go so well. But hey flying taxis? That’s way more exciting than folding laundry. Although imagine trying to get Brian to fly one of these things. He'd probably write a scathing novel about the environmental impact or something.

Dubai's Got a Six Year Head Start?!

Dubai's Road and Transport Authority made a deal with Joby which grants Dubai exclusive rights to air taxi service for SIX YEARS! Six years Lois! That’s like a whole Meg dating a celebrity situation. Basically everyone else is stuck in traffic while Dubai is soaring through the air like Stewie trying to take over the world. I bet Quagmire is already planning his Giggity Air Taxi service!

Saudi Arabia's Throwing Cash Like I Throw Back Pawtucket Patriot Ales

And hold on to your hats folks because Saudi Arabia is throwing money at Joby like I throw back Pawtucket Patriot Ales at The Drunken Clam. A cool $1 billion investment for 300 eVTOLs? That’s enough to make even Mr. Pewterschmidt jealous. No wonder Joby's stock is doing better than I did on that one trivia night! They’re up 32% this year! Maybe I should invest… Nah I'll probably just buy more beer. It's good times!

Cutting Traffic Cutting Emissions Cutting...Lines at the Clam?

These air taxis are supposed to be all about cutting traffic and emissions. You know saving the planet and all that jazz. But honestly I'm more interested in cutting the lines at The Drunken Clam. Imagine flying right over all those chumps waiting to get their hands on a cold one! It's like that time I found a shortcut to the grocery store but instead of produce it's beer! This is fantastic!