Giggity Giggity! Wall Street Shrugs Off Iran Bombings Like Lois' Cooking!

Holy Crap Bombs in Iran? Meh Says Wall Street!

Alright so check this out. Apparently we dropped some bombs in Iran. Boom! Just like that time I tried to make a soufflé. Anyway Jim Cramer that Wall Street guy who yells a lot says everyone's acting like it's no big deal. The stock market's going up oil's kinda going down... it's like everyone's saying 'Eh Iran? More like Ira yawn!' Giggity.

Oil Prices Take a Dive Just Like My IQ!

So the price of oil is doing the limbo going lower and lower. And get this Iran even claimed they shot a missile at a US base in Qatar! But Qatar was all like 'Nah we got it,' and swatted it down like I swat away Lois' attempts to feed me vegetables. Seriously what's the deal with broccoli? It's like little trees but terrible! Anyway all this chaos and the market's just kinda... vibing. Weird right?

Strait of Hormuz? More Like Strait of 'Who Cares'!

Now I heard some smarty pants was saying that if Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz we're all gonna be in trouble. Apparently a ton of oil goes through there. But Trumpy poo (my nickname for Donald you know because we're practically best buds) tweeted that everyone needs to keep oil prices low. Which yeah makes sense because I need to afford my beer and chicken wings dammit! But for real I don't even know what to believe anymore! It's all so confusing like that time I tried to do my taxes. Oh and remember the time I thought I was smart and bought that boat? What a disaster!

Not as Relevant? Like Meg at a Cool Kids Party!

So Jim Cramer is saying that Iran just isn't that important to the stock market anymore. Ouch! That's gotta sting. It's like when I try to hang out with Quagmire and Joe and they're all like 'Peter go home.' Giggity but sad giggity. But look at the bright side maybe it means that we could finally just solve this with Rock Paper Scissors?

US Oil to the Rescue! Take That Iran!

Turns out America is pumping out so much oil that we don't need Iran as much anymore. Take that Iran! It's like when Lois tries to diet but then I bring home a bucket of fried chicken! Who needs a diet when you have fried chicken am I right? Anyway good for us I guess. More oil means cheaper gas for the Peter mobile. Road trip!

Kroger Banks and Chips: The Real Heroes!

So while everyone's worried about bombs and oil the stock market's busy partying because Kroger had a good week some banks might merge and some chip company is doing well. It's like when I'm supposed to be doing yard work but I find a dollar and spend the afternoon playing Pac Man. Priorities people! Priorities! Seriously though what's wrong with doing that?