Giggity Giggity! Free National Park Days Are Back, Baby!

Holy Crap! Free Parks?

Alright you know what grinds my gears? Paying to see a freakin' rock! Or a geyser! Or whatever the heck they got in those fancy schmancy National Parks. But hold the phone Lois! Uncle Sam is throwing us a bone! The US National Park Service is offering FREE admission on certain days in 2025. That's right free! Like that time I accidentally walked out of the buffet without paying. Good times! They call it 'Fee Free Days,' and boy does that sound good to this guy.

Juneteenth? Sounds Like a Party!

So the first freebie day is Juneteenth which I'm pretty sure isn't some new dance craze. Although... hey Quagmire you hear about this Juneteenth thing? Sounds kinda... *giggity*. Anyway it's a day to celebrate freedom and apparently free access to places like the Grand Canyon Yellowstone and Yosemite. Score! Just picture it me a cooler full of Pawtucket Patriot Ale and absolutely no Meg. This could be the best Juneteenth ever!

But Wait There's More!

Now before you go packing your tiny Speedo (you know for that rugged outdoorsman look) there's a catch. You still gotta pay for things like camping boat launches and those creepy ranger led tours where they tell you about the mating habits of squirrels. Seriously who needs that? But hey free is free! And I'm all about free like that time I tried to convince everyone I was a long lost prince from Nigeria. Didn't work but I got a free hat out of it!

Get There Early You Drunken Clam!

The National Park Service those buzzkills recommend getting there early. Apparently everyone and their mother (especially your mother Quagmire) will be trying to snag a free peek at Old Faithful. So set your alarm chug a Red Bull and get your butt in gear! Unless you wanna be stuck in a line longer than Peter's explanation for why he 'accidentally' ate the entire birthday cake. Gosh!

More Free Days Than Brian's Book Deals!

If you miss out on Juneteenth don't have a cow man! There are more free days coming up throughout 2025. We're talking Bureau of Land Management's birthday (who?) Great American Outdoors Day (USA! USA!) National Public Lands Day (whatever that is) National Wildlife Refuge Week (sounds boring) and Veterans Day (respect!). Check out the Department of Interior website for the deets. And hey maybe I'll see you there! Just try not to hog all the picnic tables.

House? I'd Rather Have a Boat!

Oh and before I forget CNBC Make It wants you to buy a house. Yeah right! I'd rather spend my money on a sweet speedboat and reenact scenes from 'Miami Vice.' But hey if you're into that whole 'responsible adult' thing check out their course. And use coupon code EARLYBIRD for a discount. Tell 'em Peter Griffin sent ya. They won't know what you're talking about.