Disney in Deep Doo-Doo! Are Trump's Tariffs Turning Mickey Mouse into a Starving Rat?!

Giggity Giggity Trade Wars?

Alright folks Peter Griffin here reporting live from my couch while Lois yells at me to get a job. Turns out those darn tariffs from President Trump (or as I like to call him 'Orange Meg') are messin' with Disney's money! Yeah Mickey Mouse might have to sell some of those oversized gloves to make ends meet. Apparently fewer foreigners are comin' to America and that means fewer people shellin' out cash for those overpriced churros at Disney World. It's like that time I tried to sell my own brand of 'Griffin's Grog' – nobody wanted it and I ended up drinkin' it all myself. Bad times bad times.

No More Dole Whips?!

So get this: international guests make up about 20% of Disney's park attendance in Orlando and Anaheim. That's a lot of folks payin' for the privilege of sweatin' in a mouse costume! But now foreign arrivals are down almost 10%! That's like finding out the Drunken Clam ran out of Pawtucket Patriot Ales – a total disaster! And Delta Airlines is all gloomy too sayin' people are 'cautious' about the economy. Cautious? I'm always cautious when Lois is holdin' a rolling pin! But seriously if people ain't travelin' Disney's gonna feel it right in the wallet. Remember that time I tried to save money by buildin' my own roller coaster? It ended up crashin' into the house. This is kinda like that but with more corporate sadness.

Road House!

But wait there's more! Other countries are tellin' their citizens not to come here because of Trump's policies. Anti immigration? Anti transgender? Sounds like a recipe for a party foul! And get this airport traffic is FLAT! Flat like my chances of winning a beauty pageant. Goldman Sachs is all worried about travel trends and an economic slowdown could mean people skip their Disney vacations. You know instead of buyin' those stupid mouse ears they might actually pay their bills. Imagine that!

Experiences?! You Mean Overpriced Souvenirs?!

Disney's 'experiences' unit – that's where they make all their money from parks cruises and those ridiculously priced lightsabers – has been a cash cow. But now analysts are predictin' slower growth. Slower growth is like tryin' to catch the Road Runner on a Rascal scooter – it ain't happenin'! Apparently this could hit Disney's operating income. Uh oh! It is getting freakin' serious its like the time I accidentally joined the mob things went pear shaped and the family and I had to move to a new town to live under a false identity.

Universal's Epic Fail...I Mean Epic Universe!

And just when things couldn't get worse Universal's opening a new theme park called 'Epic Universe.' Seriously? 'Epic Universe'? Sounds like a rejected Star Wars movie title. This could steal Disney's thunder and leave Mickey Mouse cryin' into his tiny gloves. Web visits to Universal Orlando are up while Disney World's are down. That's like finding out Quagmire is gettin' more dates than me! Giggity!

Cruises to the Rescue?!

But hold your horses folks! It's not all doom and gloom. Barclays says Disney's cruise business might save the day! Apparently people still want to get seasick in style. They're expectin' cruises to boost profits. So maybe Mickey Mouse can still afford that diamond encrusted monocle after all. Jim Cramer says Disney's overall lookin' good especially with their streaming and movies. So there you have it! Disney's in a bit of a pickle but they might just pull through. Now if you will excuse me I am gonna go hit the Drunken Clam with the boys... Giggity!