Excellent! Wind Farm Construction Resumes, Power for the Masses (or at Least Half a Million of Them)!

Release the Hounds... Er Wind Turbines!

Good heavens what's this I hear? It seems those Norwegians over at Equinor are dusting off their windmills thanks to some... 'negotiations' with the White House. Apparently this 'Empire Wind 1' project which I'm told will be the first to sully New York City with direct electricity (as if we needed more of the stuff!) is back in action. Honestly the audacity! I had my lawyers look into this immediately. Burns and Krustofsky that is.

A Bureaucratic Kerfuffle: A Tale of Woe (for Someone Else)

Apparently some blithering idiot named Burgum (a name as appealing as Smithers' attempts at humor) put a stop to this nonsense back in April. Something about the Biden administration rushing things. As if anyone rushes anything effectively! Still this halt caused quite the stir amongst the investors. Bah! Investors. They're all the same sweating bullets over a few measly dollars. Reminds me of when I had to fire a few hundred employees to afford a new paperweight.

Hochul's Hustle: A Bargain Struck?

Now this Governor Hochul seems to have charmed (or bribed let's be honest) Burgum and the Trump fellow to lift this ridiculous ban. She prattles on about 1,500 union jobs. Union jobs! As if I care about those lazy layabouts getting a paycheck. Still she does mention 'new energy projects,' so perhaps I can find a way to weasel my way in and make a tidy profit. Excellent!

Trump's Turbine Troubles: A Personal Vendetta

Ah Trump. Always with the grandiose pronouncements and baffling opinions. He seems to have a personal vendetta against these wind turbines claiming they kill birds. As if that's a bad thing! One less winged pest to worry about. And he also gripes about the cost. Well everything costs money you tangerine tinged buffoon! But some things like controlling the world's energy supply are worth it.

Construction Commences (Again!): A Race Against Time (and My Patience)

So they've already sunk $2.5 billion into this monstrosity and are a third of the way done. They plan to erect 54 turbines nearly a thousand feet tall! The thought of all those spinning blades makes me dizzy just thinking about it. And it will only power half a million homes? A pittance! Still Equinor's CFO whines about the stop work order being 'unlawful.' Boo hoo. Try being me and having to put up with Homer Simpson every day.

Eastern Seaboard Wind Wars: A Symphony of Spinning

Apparently there are other wind farms popping up along the Eastern Seaboard. Revolution Sunrise Coastal Virginia... It's a regular wind farm free for all! Dominion Energy seems confident their project will continue and Orsted is committed to theirs. Well good for them. But remember my friends: He who controls the wind controls the world... or at least a small portion of New York. Release the hounds!