Excellent! Oil Prices Tumble Thanks to Trump's Iran Maneuver!

A Burnsian Bargain: The Price is Right!

Smithers my boy did you see the news? Oil prices are tumbling faster than Waylon on a slippery staircase! This is excellent! All thanks to that nincompoop Trump's latest shenanigans. Apparently he's letting China continue buying oil from Iran. A bold move even for him and one that lines my pockets rather nicely. As I always say 'A fool and his money are soon parted…and then invested wisely by me!' Hmph. Let those Wall Street types scramble. Burns is back in business!

Meltdown on the Market: A Springfield Symphony of Savings!

Global benchmark Brent crude is down $4.06 which let's be honest is more than Smithers makes in a month. And U.S. crude oil? Down $3.88! It’s like Christmas morning but instead of getting a new pair of socks I'm getting lower operating costs for my nuclear power plant! Remember that time I tried to block out the sun to drive up energy prices? This is even better! No pesky environmentalists to deal with. (Except Lisa Simpson of course. That girl is a constant thorn in my side much like the labor unions.)

Trump's Tweetings: A Social Media Masterstroke (Almost)!

Trump took to his… Truth Social (ugh the man has no taste) to announce this grand scheme. Said China can now 'purchase plenty from the U.S. also.' Hmph. As if I'd trust anything that buffoon says. But I can't deny the man knows how to make a deal even if it's a deal with the devil. He actually said 'It was my Great Honor to make this happen!' Honor? Please. It's all about the money my dear boy the sweet sweet money! And perhaps avoiding those pesky anti trust lawsuits when my energy monopoly kicks into high gear!

No More Boom Boom in Iran: Burns' Blissful Business!

Apparently the market is calming down now that the conflict in the Middle East is winding down. Good riddance. The U.S. decision to bomb those nuclear sites in Iran over the weekend was a bit too exciting for my old ticker. Nothing good ever comes from violence. Except of course when it drives up the price of energy which then allows me to gouge those simpletons in Springfield. What was I saying? Ah yes this is a perfect ending just in time for me to implement my latest cost saving measures. Expect to see some "layoffs" down at the plant wouldn't want my profits going to those lazy blokes!

The Strait of Hormuz: A Strategic Stranglehold?

They were worried about the Strait of Hormuz the pathway for 20% of the world’s crude. Honestly I have never been there and I hope I never will. Too much sand! The point is any disruption there and those prices would have skyrocketed. That would have been great to take advantage of but the situation would be a total mess with so many middle eastern countries involved! Alliances and treaties and sanctions! Smithers remind me to get a headache reliever.

Excellent Economics: A Burnsian Bonanza!

So there you have it Smithers. Oil prices are down my coffers are up and the world is one step closer to being under my benevolent control. Now about those Simpson children… I believe I have a plan to use them as unpaid labor for cleaning the ventilation shafts. The perfect way to teach them the value of hard work (and save a few pennies of course). Excellent!