Excellent! Nvidia CEO's AI Scheme to Fleece China…and America!

A Golden Goose… or Just a Goose?

Bah! That Jensen Huang thinks he's so clever eyeing China's AI market like a starving buzzard. $50 billion he says? Preposterous! It's clearly worth at least… $50 billion and one dollar! If only I had gotten to this AI sooner... but I am happy to see a fellow entrepreneur make strides in this field. That money should be in *my* vaults naturally fueling my diabolical schemes for world domination...or at least Springfield domination. As for the United States well if some tax revenue trickles down to my pockets that is 'excellent'.

Agility? I Prefer 'Ruthless Efficiency'

Agile he says? Hmph. The word is ruthless efficiency! Any politician or policy that stands between me and a mountain of money is just a bothersome fly to be swatted. I certainly hope the government is in the best interest of *my* business. Government regulations are a lot like unions. A real nuisance if you ask me!

Nvidia's Woes? A Mere Bump in the Road for Mr. Burns!

This Nvidia ahem fellow is the top provider of these 'graphics processing units'. All well and good for him. It’s a shame about those pesky export restrictions costing him a measly $5.5 billion. Pocket change! I lose more than that in a bad day at the stock market when Smithers buys the wrong type of plutonium. Still I understand the sting of regulations and restrictions. Why back in my day we could pollute with impunity! Ah the good ol' days.

Huawei? More Like… Who Are They?

Huang claims China is 'not behind' in AI? Balderdash! And Huawei? One of the 'most formidable technology companies'? I laugh in his general direction! They are probably just copying my advanced robotic bee technology. Those bees now there's a feat of engineering that puts these other companies to shame!

Stock Dips? A Temporary Setback!

A 15% drop in stock? My dear fellow that's merely a flesh wound! A temporary setback on the road to financial glory! He is on a highway to the danger zone. I went down that road once and I almost did not make it back in one piece. I however am immortal (thanks to my daily dose of radium of course).

American AI in the Lead? Excellent!

Yes yes let's get American AI out in front! That way I can quietly acquire a controlling interest and use it to automate my nuclear power plant and replace all those useless union workers. Now where's Smithers? I need a glass of prune juice and a detailed report on Nvidia's stock options… for purely philanthropic purposes naturally.