Excellent! Musk's Masterful Maneuver: Avoiding Billions, Benefiting Bigly!

A Most Diabolical Development or Is It?

Good heavens what's this I hear? Apparently that upstart Elon Musk with his 'Department of Government Efficiency' (sounds dreadfully socialist if you ask me!) has managed to... *ahem*... 'streamline' things in Washington. It seems he's been quite the busy bee buzzing around cutting agencies and dare I say purging the workforce. A capital idea! Like releasing the hounds but for government bloat! Smithers why haven't we thought of this before?

Billions? Chicken Feed!

This Senate report compiled by those pesky Democrats claims Musk has avoided a staggering $2.37 billion in potential liabilities. Bah! Pocket change! I lose more than that in a slow afternoon at my casino! They claim Tesla misled people on autopilot? So what if the cars drive into a wall or two? Innovation requires risks people! And Neuralink... well they're worried about animals. Animals! Flanders probably had a hand in this ridiculousness the blithering idiot!

Self Enrichment? Poppycock!

This 'self enrichment' nonsense! As if a man of my caliber doesn't deserve every penny nickel and dime he's ever acquired. And Musk that... that… electric car salesman! He's just following in the footsteps of us titans. Honestly these accusations are about as surprising as finding out Smithers is fond of Malibu Stacy! This Richard Blumenthal fellow reminds me of that meddling busybody Principal Skinner!

Silence Is Golden or Is It Platinum?

The report claims Musk's silence is strategic and dangerous. Nonsense! Silence is the sound of a man who's far too busy counting his money to bother with the rabble. Besides I am sure that even Musk knows the benefits of ignoring these fools and focusing on the important things in life like finding ways to get even richer faster!

Blumenthal's Blathering!

Senator Blumenthal has sent letters to Musk's companies demanding information. How dare he! It's an outrage! It's a disgrace! I ought to... (Smithers whispers in ear) ...ah yes I'm far too old to actually *do* anything. Still the temerity!

Trump's Two Cents or Two Billion?

The White House bless their misguided souls is denying any wrongdoing. Apparently Blumenthal has a case of 'Trump Derangement Syndrome'. Honestly I wouldn't wish such a debilitating condition even on my worst enemy... well maybe that Simpson fellow. But I digress. Musk's doing what any sensible businessman would do: looking after number one. Excellent!