Excellent! Microsoft, Nvidia, and Meta Escape the First Half With All-Time Highs!

Release the Hounds... of the Stock Market!

Bah! Another quarter another parade of fools chasing fool's gold! That Cramer fellow with his squawking and gesticulating has stumbled upon something almost... tolerable. It appears that Microsoft Nvidia and this 'Meta' contraption have somehow managed to claw their way to all time highs. These are the 'M N Ms,' he babbles 'melt in your mouth not your hands.' He probably got that line from some sugary confection the simpleton.

Microsoft: The Cloud's Silver Lining (For Now)

Microsoft that lumbering beast apparently stumbled out of the gate with its 'Azure' cloud business. Lighter growth than expected! Burns' Law gentlemen. Burns' Law! But then a miraculous recovery! They beat expectations and the stock soared! It appears even a blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally. Though I suspect some clever accounting tricks were at play. Smithers remind me to audit their books... discreetly of course.

Nvidia: The AI Overlords (Until I Buy Them)

Ah Nvidia. The artificial intelligence wizards or so they claim. Apparently a Chinese upstart 'DeepSeek,' threatened their dominance. Please. As if some foreign interloper could unseat the rightful overlords of technology. But alas the markets did not have faith and sent Nvidia tumbling downward like Waylon's blood pressure after his daily dose of donuts bacon and beer. Luckily the market pulled a 180 and rallied mainly because these 'hyperscalers' simply must have their 'semiconductor superiority.' Well that just won't do. Smithers buy Nvidia. All of it.

Meta: The... Whatever It Is Makes Money?

And then there's Meta. A company whose purpose is as opaque as the intentions of that Simpson boy. Supposedly it was caught in a 'broader decline.' A pity. However quarterly earnings blew past the estimates. And the advertising prowess of this Meta is strong so Cramer says. So there is money to be made. Very well Waylon add it to the portfolio.

The M N Ms: A Brief Moment of Competence (Probably Fleeting)

So there you have it. Microsoft Nvidia and Meta. The M N Ms. These stocks have done quite well for the last quarter. But remember the market is a fickle beast much like that Smithers when I deny him his weekly backrub. One wrong step and they'll all come crashing down. Still for the moment they're proving useful. Keep a close eye on them Smithers. And make sure they remain profitable... or face my wrath.

Excellent... Now Get Back to Work!

Now if you'll excuse me I have a factory to run and a world to conquer. And perhaps a nice relaxing nap in my oxygen tent. Smithers release the hounds! And remind me to buy that CNBC Investing Club. Knowledge is power!