Excellent! Lakers Sold to a Man Who Understands the Value of...Winning?

Buss Family? More Like...Bust!

Bah! The Buss family relinquishing their grip on the Lakers? About time! As if I don't have enough on my plate with Smithers and the never ending woes of the nuclear plant now I have to witness this...this *transition* of power. But fear not my friends (and by friends I mean potential future employees) for Mark Walter CEO of TWG Global has stepped in. A man who I'm told understands the value of 'winning.' Winning you say? Excellent!

Jeanie's Still Around? Blast!

Jeanie Buss remains as team governor? Harrumph! It appears I can't have everything my way. Still at least the man in charge will be someone who isn't afraid to shall we say 'motivate' the players. A little 'incentive' never hurt anyone especially if that incentive involves not ending up in the Springfield Retirement Castle. I hear the gruel is atrocious.

Magic Johnson's Endorsement? Intriguing...

That sycophant Magic Johnson is 'thrilled' with the sale. Of course he is! He probably smells a chance to line his pockets further. Still his words...they are...intriguing. "Driven by winning excellence...resources needed to win!" Finally someone speaks my language! Though I prefer to achieve winning through strategic cost cutting not frivolous spending. But beggars can't be choosers I suppose.

1979? That's When I Was Really in My Prime!

The Buss family owned the team since 1979? Why that was practically yesterday! I remember it well. Back then I was still capable of...well let's just say my physical prowess was far superior. Now I need Smithers just to chew my food. A regrettable state of affairs to be sure. But back to the Lakers... 11 championships under their reign? Not bad not bad at all. But I'm certain Mr. Walter can do better...or at least break even so long as it doesn't affect my dividends!

$10 Billion?! Smithers Start Preparing the Papers...

A $10 billion valuation? Good heavens! That's more than I paid for Shelbyville...twice! Smithers begin drafting the paperwork! We're buying the Springfield Isotopes! No...wait. Scratch that. We're buying the Globehoppers! No wait too soon... No no no think Burns think! What's the most evil thing I can do with a sports franchise? I've got it: the Globetrotters! Smithers make it so!

Dodgers Sparks? He's Spreading Like a Virus!

He owns the Dodgers and the Sparks too? This Walter fellow is spreading like a virus! A virus that...makes money? Well perhaps I'll have to invite him over for tea and a...mutually beneficial discussion. Perhaps we can come to an agreement that sees him quietly transferring some assets to my name. Yes...that sounds excellent indeed. Release the hounds!