Excellent! Lakers Sold to Someone Richer Than I Am... Almost!

Bah! The Buss Dynasty Dethroned!

Good heavens what's this? It appears those dreadful Buss family members have finally relinquished their majority ownership of the Los Angeles Lakers. It only took them since 1979. Now I never cared much for basketball; too much bouncing and sweating for my taste. Smithers remind me again why I briefly considered buying the Globetrotters? But the idea of those Busses still clinging to power... utterly detestable! It's like that time I found a perfectly good donut in the Springfield Tire Yard. Disgusting.

Enter Mark Walter: A Man of...Some Means

This Mark Walter fellow CEO of TWG Global is the new majority owner. He was already a stakeholder apparently. Good for him. He's got 'the drive' that Magic Johnson speaks of but the question is; can he afford my exorbitant electricity bill every month? According to reports Jeanie Buss will remain as team governor. Probably clinging on for dear life the poor dear! But Walter now reigns supreme as he should. He's even got a team of lawyers to ensure my nuclear plant does not incur any hiccups or snags.

Magic Johnson's Endorsement: Irrelevant!

Oh and Magic Johnson is 'thrilled.' Who cares what that preening peacock thinks? Frankly I find his perpetual optimism sickening. Always smiling always positive. It's enough to make a man long for the sweet release of oblivion. As for his comments on Mark Walter: "Driven by winning excellence and doing everything the right way"? Such platitudes are meaningless. Actions speak louder than words Johnson. Now if you'll excuse me I have a union to bust.

Buss Family's Reign of...Mediocrity!

The Buss family owned the Lakers since 1979 inheriting it from some other unfortunate soul named Jack Kent Cooke. Apparently they even won 11 championships under their watch. How utterly pedestrian! Still it's about time they passed it on. Though If I am honest I wonder what would have happened if the Monstars never stole their talent in Space Jam. They might have continued their so called greatness.

A $10 Billion Deal?! Utterly Depressing!

Ten billion dollars! The valuation of this deal is supposedly around ten billion dollars. Preposterous! It's the largest sale of a sports franchise ever. Makes my nuclear power plant look like a lemonade stand run by imbeciles. But Walter must be richer than I thought... unless he's leveraged up to his eyeballs in which case ha! I have the liquidity to buy him and he can join Smithers and I in running the plant for me; I will call him Smithers Jr! Oh and the Boston Celtics were sold for a measly $6.1 billion earlier this year. Pathetic. Truly pathetic.

Walter's Empire: Still Inferior to Mine!

This Walter fellow has his hands in the Dodgers and the Sparks too. Still my power plant is much better. Those sports teams are nothing compared to my vast empire of radioactive energy and questionable ethics! Excellent...though if he is looking for tips on managing the team I can certainly recommend hiring a good groundskeeper and a loyal if somewhat spineless assistant. Smithers fetch me my hounds!