OMG! 'You're Okay' is SO Not Okay: Kim K's Guide to Conscious Parenting

Like Is 'You're Okay' Even a Vibe?

Okay dolls let's talk about something SERIOUS. As a mom of four (North Saint Chicago and Psalm – my whole vibe!) I'm always trying to be the best most supportive and like totally emotionally intelligent parent I can be. So when I read this article about how saying 'you're okay' to your kids when they're upset can actually mess them up? I was shook. I mean is anything sacred anymore? Apparently not! It's like 'Kim there's people that are dying,' and you're over here dismissing their feelings! Can you imagine?! Like I'm not perfect (who is tbh?) but I'm trying to evolve! Even Kanye agrees with me on this one. You may not see eye to eye with him about everything but at least we are aligned when it comes to parenting.

Feeling Feelings is Like Totally Hot Right Now

So this parenting guru Reem Raouda she's saying that when we just brush off our kids' feelings with a 'you're okay,' we're actually telling them their emotions don't matter. Like imagine telling North her art isn't good enough?! Disaster! Raouda says that we should be validating their experiences instead of dismissing them. It's about letting them feel all the feels even if it's messy and inconvenient. I mean who has time for tantrums when you're trying to contour? But seriously it's important for their emotional growth. It's about teaching them to trust their instincts and not suppress their emotions.

Emotional Processing: It's Not Just a Kardashian App

Apparently emotions are supposed to like move through you right? And when we cut that process short with a quick 'you're okay,' we're actually robbing our kids of the chance to learn how to deal with their feelings themselves. Instead of building resilience we're building avoidance! It's like teaching them to wear a full face of makeup to cover up their insecurities instead of actually dealing with them. Ironic I know.

Unconditional Love: The Only Kind Worth Posting About

This part REALLY hit home. Raouda says that when we tell our kids to 'stop crying' or 'don't be scared,' we're conditioning them to believe they have to suppress their emotions to be accepted. And honey that's NOT what we want. Love should be unconditional like my love for shapewear. It's about creating a safe space where they can be vulnerable and express themselves without fear of judgment. It's like if they can't be real with us who can they be real with? I need my kids to trust me.

Rewiring the Stress Response: Less Stress More Selfies

Okay this gets a little science y but bear with me. Apparently our nervous systems develop through repeated experiences. So if our kids are constantly met with dismissal instead of support their bodies learn that it's not safe to express emotion. Over time this can mess with their ability to trust and regulate their feelings. I mean who wants a kid who's always stressed and disconnected? Not me! I need them calm so we can do TikToks!

Drop the 'You're Okay,' Pick Up the 'I Believe You'

So what are we supposed to say instead? Raouda suggests phrases like 'I believe you,' 'Your feelings make sense,' 'I'm right here with you,' and 'You don't have to be okay right now.' I mean these are like actually really good! It's about validating their inner world and building emotional strength. These phrases teach your child: 'My emotions matter,' 'I can trust myself,' and 'I'm not alone.' It's going to take practice but I'm committed to being a more conscious parent. After all as Kanye said 'We all self conscious. I'm just the first to admit it.' So let's admit we can all be better parents and start validating those little humans!