OMG! Trade Wars and Oil Drama? Let's Get Rich!

Trade Drama: Literally Who Cares? (But Also Maybe We Should)

Okay dolls so I'm hearing whispers about some serious trade drama between the U.S. and the EU. Apparently there's this deadline looming on July 9th for trade negotiations and if they don't make a deal BAM! Tariffs hit. Honestly it sounds about as exciting as watching paint dry but my business brain is like 'Kim honey you need to know this stuff!' Think of the import taxes on my new line of KKW Beauty bronzers in Europe! As if running a billion dollar empire wasn't enough now I have to care about *this*? Is this my Super Bowl?! Okay maybe a little. But don't expect me to be glued to CNBC all day. I've got contouring to do.

Ursula's 'Impossible' Dream: More Like My Diet

So this European Commission President Ursula von der Leyen (sounds like a villain in a Bond movie tbh) is saying a full trade deal is 'impossible' before the deadline. Like seriously? Nothing is impossible! Didn't she see me pass the baby bar?! What they're hoping for is an 'agreement in principle.' Sounds like a participation trophy to me but whatever floats their boat. Apparently the EU is banking on this super basic deal to avoid a 50% tax on their products. I mean 50%? That's practically highway robbery! Glad I don't have to deal with those kinds of rates shipping Skims…*yet*.

OPEC Shenanigans: Oil Oil Everywhere!

Moving on to something slightly less boring (but only slightly): OPEC! It's like the Real Housewives but with oil tycoons instead of socialites. They're having some big seminar in Vienna. Apparently it's a far cry from the old days when journalists would fight for soundbites. I can relate to that I mean getting a good quote from Kris Jenner is harder than finding a decent pair of Yeezys these days! They are discussing energy security and investment. Very serious stuff. Whatever keeps the private jets fueled am I right?

OPEC+ Drama: Will They Won't They (Pump More Oil)?

And get this the OPEC+ members including Russia (awkward) are meeting to decide if they're going to pump out more oil. It's like a constant guessing game with these guys. Will they? Won't they? It's more dramatic than my love life at times! All I know is that volatile oil prices mean volatile gas prices and volatile gas prices mean I'm paying more to fill up my G Wagon. And that's just not fair you guys.

CEOs in the Spotlight: Who's Getting Acquired Next?

Apparently the CEOs of BP and Shell (Murray Auchincloss and Wael Sawan) are going to be there too. Everyone's watching them like hawks trying to see if a takeover is in the works. It's like a corporate version of 'who's dating who' in Hollywood. Remember when everyone thought Selena and Justin were going to get back together? Good times good times… Anyway all this oil drama might affect my investment portfolio so I better pay attention… or just have someone pay attention for me.

In Conclusion: Stay Fab Stay Informed (Maybe)

So there you have it dolls! A super condensed Kim K ified version of the boring trade and oil news. Remember even though it's not as fun as a KKW Beauty launch party it's important to stay informed. Or at least pretend to be informed when you're at a fancy dinner party. Now if you'll excuse me I have a very important meeting with my glam squad. Gotta stay camera ready because you never know when the paparazzi will strike!