OMG! Is OpenAI Buying Jony Ive's Company to Dethrone the iPhone? My Thoughts!

Wait $6.4 Billion?! That's More Than My Last Divorce Settlement!

Okay so I saw this article about OpenAI dropping a cool $6.4 BILLION on Jony Ive's startup io. Like hello?! That’s a LOT of money! And they don't even HAVE a product yet. CFO Sarah Friar was all 'It's hard to value,' which relatable. But she's betting on 'great people,' which okay I get. I mean look at me! It’s all about the people! But still that's a *lot* of Birkin bags.

Is This the End of the iPhone Era? Don't Freak Out Just Yet!

So basically OpenAI thinks they can create new devices that will change the way we use AI. Freaking Eddy Cue from Apple even said AI devices could replace the iPhone within ten years! TEN YEARS! That's like a lifetime in Kardashian years. Like will I still be contouring? Will I even *have* an iPhone 90 by then? It's scary stuff but also… exciting? Maybe I'll have my own line of AI powered beauty devices. Kim oji bot anyone?

Touchscreens Are So Last Season! (According to OpenAI)

Sarah Friar was dropping hints about new devices that *aren't* all about touchscreens. Like what?! I'm confused. How am I supposed to take selfies? How am I supposed to show off my acrylic nails?! But she's all about 'seeing hearing and talking' – so maybe AI is going to be all about voice and vision. I'm intrigued but I need to see a prototype. Stat.

Keeping Up With The AI Revolution is Exhausting

OpenAI is working with Apple on integrating with iPhone and Siri but Friar wants their own proprietary devices! She wants to 'spark innovation broadly.' Like I'm all about innovation! That's why I have a Skims line and a makeup line and... well you get the picture. But can we maybe slow down a little? My brain is starting to hurt.

Okay But Will These AI Devices Make Me Look Good in Selfies?

The real question here is: will these new AI devices make me look flawless? Will they have built in filters that make my skin look like porcelain? Will they know all my best angles? Because if they don't then honestly what's the point? I need these devices to understand the importance of a good selfie. It’s not just a photo dolls it's a lifestyle!

Subscription Models for... AI? Sounds Expensive!

So OpenAI wants to make money off all this obviously. They're talking about bigger subscriptions for ChatGPT. Okay but like how much bigger? I'm already paying for like a million streaming services. Can my bank account even handle an AI subscription? It better come with some serious perks. Maybe a personal AI assistant that manages my schedule and picks out my outfits? Now we're talking.