OMG! Eutelsat Stock Skyrockets - Is This My Ticket to Space?

Like Literally to the Moon!

Okay dolls lemme tell you this Eutelsat news is HUGE! I saw their stock went up like 14% after they got a cool €1.35 billion (that's like a gazillion dollars!) from France and other investors. My first thought? Am I finally going to space? North would totally love that. Remember when I said I'd go anywhere for a good selfie? Well outer space is CALLING!

European Starlink? More Like European KIMOJI!

So apparently Eutelsat is trying to be a European version of Elon Musk's Starlink. Can you even imagine? Forget streaming 'Keeping Up' – we'll be streaming galaxies! They’re all about business and government stuff but honestly I think they could use a little KIMOJI magic. Picture this: Kimojis in space beaming down to Earth. Iconic.

Serving Looks… and Satellites!

Eutelsat’s saying they're the only European company with a fully working LEO network. LEO? Sounds like a new perfume! They're all about military communications and cyber resilience which okay sounds important. But imagine if they could use their satellites to find the best lighting for selfies across the globe! Game. Changer.

Macron's Got My Back (in Space)!

Even President Macron is tweeting about it! He says France is 'ensuring its strategic independence.' Honey if I know anything about independence it’s that you need a good support system… and maybe a private jet. He’s talking about it at the Paris Air Show. I need to get an invite like yesterday. Imagine the photo ops!

Volatility? I Invented It!

They say Eutelsat’s stock has been 'hugely volatile.' Girl please. Volatility is my middle name… well not really but it *should* be! Remember when everyone thought I was going to run for president? That was volatile! This satellite stuff? Just another Tuesday in the Kardashian universe.

Kim K in Space: Coming Soon to a Galaxy Near You!

Okay seriously though this is a big deal. If Eutelsat is gonna be a major player in space maybe I should invest. Or better yet maybe they can name a satellite after me! 'The Kim K Satellite' – I love it! Stay tuned dolls because this could be my most out of this world adventure yet. You know what they say "Get your ass up and work!" … in space!