Elon's DOGE Savings? Honey, I've Spent More on Skims!

OMG He's Quitting Already?

Okay so I saw this article about Elon you know the guy who maybe wants to buy Twitter again or is he bored? IDK but apparently he told Trump he was saving the government like a boatload of money with his 'Department of Government Efficiency' – or DOGE which let’s be honest sounds like a meme my kids would show me. But like he’s already stepping back? I guess running Tesla and saving the world is too much even for a genius. Kinda like when I tried to run KKW Beauty SKIMS and law school all at once. Choices had to be made people.

160 Billion? Please That's Pocket Change!

So he claims he saved $160 billion. Like good for him I guess? But let's be real I've probably spent more than that on Skims development and photoshoots. Just kidding! But seriously in Kardashian dollars $160 billion is like a medium sized yacht. Remember that time I chartered a yacht for my birthday? Good times. Anyway the article says he was supposed to save TRILLIONS. Now THAT'S something to contour about.

Trump and Elon: An Unlikely Duo

The article mentioned Trump thanking Elon for his 'sacrifice.' Sacrifice? Honey please. He’s got a whole Mars mission to fund. But apparently Trump invited him to 'stay as long as you want.' Which is cute because who wouldn't want to hang out with the ex president and talk about… government efficiency? Sounds like my idea of a boring Sunday brunch. I prefer discussing the latest season of 'The Kardashians' and how Khloe's doing. You know important things.

Burning Teslas? Not the Vibe!

Apparently people are burning Elon's cars because he's like saving the government money? I don’t get it. That’s like the opposite of being eco friendly. Plus who burns a Tesla? Those things are chic! Maybe they were jealous of the autopilot. I once tried to let my assistant drive my car with that feature but it didn't go well. Let's just say she's better at booking flights than navigating LA traffic.

DOGE: The Budget Slayer (Maybe)

So the whole point of this DOGE thing was to cut the federal budget. Apparently he promised to slash 'at least $2 trillion.' But now he's saying 'maybe just $1 trillion.' Sounds like someone's over promising and under delivering. Just like some of my exes! Anyway even the experts are saying the savings might be way smaller than he claims. Shocking. Maybe he needs to hire Kris Jenner to negotiate the budget. She can get ANYTHING done.

Back to Tesla: Priorities People!

So Elon's going back to Tesla full time. Smart move. You can't save the world and run a car company at the same time can you? Although knowing Elon he probably has some AI robot doing all the work for him. Anyway I'm sure he'll figure it out. He's Elon Musk after all. And me? I'm gonna go take a selfie and remind everyone that I'm still the queen of the internet.