Witcher's Guide to Wall Street: Investing Tips from the Sohn Conference (No Monsters Included... Probably)

A Witcher Amongst Wolves (of Wall Street)

Right so I found myself at this... Sohn Investment Conference. Apparently it's where the 'big brains' of finance gather to stroke their chins and make pronouncements. All to raise coin for medical research which admittedly is a cause even a Witcher can get behind. Less monsters to slay more potions for the masses eh? But gods the self importance...it was thicker than fog on a battlefield. Let's see if their 'wisdom' is worth more than a rusty copper.

Southeast Asia: The New Pontar Valley?

First up this fellow Yetimoglu is singing the praises of Sea Ltd. calling it the 'Amazon of Southeast Asia.' Claims it's the backbone of the region's economy. 'When you think about these countries like Indonesia Malaysia Vietnam Thailand Philippines consumer demographics in these regions are some of the most attractive end markets in the world. [The] middle class is young with growing incomes and e commerce is in early stages of penetration.' Sounds like another land grab to me just with fewer swords and more... smartphones? He seems convinced their Shopee marketplace has a stranglehold. Makes me wonder if they're hiring Witchers to deal with the competition. 'Hmm winds howling...competition's rising.'

Wex: More Trouble Than a Striga in Broad Daylight

Then there's this Wex company supposedly trading way below its 'intrinsic value.' Sounds like a damsel in distress doesn't it? Lauren Taylor Wolfe from Impactive Capital thinks it could 'more than double' if they just sort out the 'complacency complexity and lack of alignment.' Apparently they own a big chunk and are poking the board with a pointy stick. All that talk about 'high margin business' in healthcare… sounds like more paperwork than a contract with a doppler. 'Evil is evil lesser greater middling… Makes no difference. The degree is arbitary. The definition is blurred. If I'm to choose between one evil and another then I prefer not to choose at all.'

Adobe and the AI Alchemists

Ah Adobe jumping on the artificial intelligence bandwagon. William Heard thinks they're going to 'win the [generative] AI arms race.' 'Seems to me they're just trying to turn lead into gold with extra steps. He claims their monetization strategy is misunderstood. More likely it's just confusing. But hey if it keeps artists in business I'm not complaining. Though I still prefer a well drawn griffin to some digital monstrosity. Still Adobe's growth is at an inflection point with most of its products less than a year old. Time will only tell I suppose.

National Vision: A Rocket Ship to… Better Eyesight?

This Jonathan Lennon guy from PLP Funds is all fired up about National Vision an eyeglass retailer. Calls it a 'rocket ship.' Says eyewear replacement is speeding up. 'Hmm so even the nearsighted are rushing into the future.' Claims their new management is driving profits. PLP Funds has quietly become one of its biggest shareholders in the stock. Well if they start offering Witcher proof lenses maybe I'll invest. Until then 'medallion's humming...something's fishy.' I can't trust these guys. They seem to be very confident though...

Teva Global Payments Blue Owls and Radiation: So Many Investments So Little Coin

Then the rest blur together like a bad hangover. Teva and Global Payments profit growth this low price to earnings that. Blue Owl Capital with its 'diversified revenue streams' and retail expansion. Mirion Technologies a 'recession proof' radiation detection company. And finally Comfort Systems. Truth is after listening to these folks drone on about 'asymmetrically attractive outcomes' and 'multi decade growth profiles,' all I wanted was a bathtub full of ale and a quiet corner to read a book. It is a lot that's for sure. But hey at least there were no drowners at this conference. Small victories eh?