Trump and Zelenskyy's Vatican Powwow: A Witcher's Take on Peace, Politics, and Papal Farewells

A Coin for Peace?

Right so I find myself in Rome. Not exactly monster slaying territory unless you count politicians. Trump and Zelenskyy huh? Met at the Vatican apparently trying to sort out this mess with Russia. A bit like trying to negotiate with a griffin – loud stubborn and likely to end with someone getting clawed. Zelenskyy's hoping for a 'historic' outcome. Heard that one before. Usually ends with someone getting stabbed in the back. Still gotta give 'em credit for trying I suppose.

Marble Halls and Murky Motives

They met for 15 minutes close enough to share a cough or a secret with no handlers around. 'Good meeting,' says Zelenskyy on Telegram. 'We managed to discuss a lot.' Probably a lot of posturing if you ask me. 'Protection of lives,' 'ceasefire,' 'lasting peace' – all the usual buzzwords. Like a bard trying to write a catchy tune about a plague. But hey even a witcher can appreciate a bit of hope no matter how slim.

The White House Speaks (Vaguely)

Trump's people are calling it 'very productive.' Of course they are. Politicians always say that even when they're knee deep in mire. They were supposed to have another meeting but Trump's plane took off without it happening. Sounds like someone got cold feet or maybe he just had to catch a flight for some hairspray. *Hmm...*

Photo Ops and Shoulder Pats

There's photos naturally. Zelenskyy and Trump leaning in looking serious. Macron’s got his hand on Zelenskyy’s shoulder. Probably whispering something about French wine and surrender. Then they all shuffled off to Pope Francis' funeral. Funny how death brings everyone together. Even those who spend their lives tearing each other apart. The Cardinal made some speech about war always being a 'painful and tragic defeat.' Tell that to the monsters pal. They just see it as lunch.

Territorial Tiffs and Trump's Tricks

Trump’s been flapping his gums about a ceasefire and wants a high level gabfest between Kyiv and Moscow. Rumor has it he's trying to strong arm Ukraine into giving up Crimea. A bit like offering a werewolf a silver bullet and expecting it to be grateful. Zelenskyy and his European buddies ain't biting though. And rightly so.

Suits Solidarity and Sniping

Trump and Zelenskyy haven't exactly been exchanging love letters. Accusations of 'gambling with World War Three' and 'disinformation bubbles' have been thrown around. Zelenskyy's rocking the military look a sign of solidarity. Trump's probably just annoyed he's not wearing a suit. 'People don't disrespect me like that!' Anyway they need each other. Trump needs a 'win' to show off and Zelenskyy needs someone to put the screws to Moscow. A classic case of the lesser evil if you ask me. Now if you'll excuse me I smell a drowner down by the river. Politics makes me thirsty.