Geralt of Rivia Reports: Flying Contraptions and Toyota's Coin - Roach is Officially Outdated!

Another Bloody Flying Machine?

Well damn. Seems the world's gone madder than a noonwraith at midnight. Heard tell Joby Aviation those blokes making contraptions that fly without wings – or at least not the feathered kind – got another hefty sum of coin from Toyota. A quarter of a billion they say. All to make these 'electric air taxis' a reality. Last I checked reality involved drowners griffins and the occasional cursed princess. Where do flying taxis fit in? Seems like another way for nobles to avoid paying tolls if you ask me.

Toyota's Deep Pockets Roach's Deep Sighs

Toyota bless their grease stained hearts already tossed half a billion at Joby a while back with the initial payment being in October. Now they're forking over more. They say it's to 'support certification and commercial production.' Sounds like a bloody headache to me. Reminds me of the time I tried to explain gwent rules to Dandelion – utterly pointless. Roach just gives me that 'I could be eating oats' look. She's got a point. Oats are reliable.

Streamlining...Like a Striga Through a Brothel?

The head honcho at Joby some JoeBen bloke claims they're 'seeing the benefit of working with Toyota.' Says they're 'streamlining manufacturing processes and optimizing design.' Streamlining eh? Sounds like what I do when a striga decides to redecorate a brothel. Fast messy and hopefully involving minimal screaming. Still I'll take his word for it for now.

Next Gen Travel: Skellige to Novigrad in 20 Minutes?

Apparently this deal reinforces a 'mutual commitment to deepening integration and delivering next generation travel to the global market.' Next generation travel? Last time someone offered me 'next generation travel,' it involved a portal a very angry djinn and a distinct lack of Roach. Pass. I'd rather stick to the well worn path thank you very much.

Vertical Takeoff: The Griffin's Gonna Be Pissed

These 'eVTOLs,' as they call 'em are supposed to take off and land like helicopters. So basically like overgrown hummingbirds? Wonder what the local griffins will think of that. Probably consider them a challenge. I'd pay good coin to see that aerial dogfight. Though knowing my luck I'd end up cleaning up the mess.

United Airlines: Taking to the Skies (and Potentially Crashing)

And it seems that United Airlines is partnering with competitor Archer Aviation because why have one flying deathtrap when you can have two? They want to launch an 'airport air taxi service.' So next time you miss your connecting flight you can just hop into a glorified blender and pray you don't end up as chunky salsa. Progress they call it. I call it asking for trouble. Now where's my crossbow? Got a feeling I'll be needing it sooner rather than later.